Player of the week? Niall Quinn, of course. If you're tempted to quibble and even be a bit rowdy about our decision, then we suggest you pipe down and get yerselves a video of last week's League Cup tie between Sunderland and Crystal Palace and feast yer eyes on Quinn's goal. If you didn't see it then just think Batistuta, Rivaldo and that Mexican bloke Hugo Sanchez. Get our drift?

All of which left us singing: "The mighty Quinn, the mighty Quinn, he doesn't want to be put in the bin, but when those Irish eyes are smiling, his mam is doing the ironing, he's six foot tall and likes the ball, but his `bottom' is as big as his finger."

Don't blame us: this "tune" appears on a Sunderland website, submitted by Neil Brass in homage to Big Niall. Cough.

Honourable mentions: Shay Given (for his darned impressive display against Leeds at Elland Road), Robbie Keane (for scoring his fourth goal in three starts, against Newcastle) and Curtis Fleming (for playing his defensive part in Middlesbrough's 00 draw at Anfield).