ON THE COUCH:YOU DO, of course, feel bad about these things, a bit blinkered and Philistine-ish about overlooking important stuff that should probably matter more.

But still and all, when they were harping on about yesterday being a day of historic elevens, you could only nod and say God speed to you Given, Kelly, St Ledger, Dunne, Ward, Duff, Whelan, Andrews, McGeady, Keane and Walters.

And they’d been telling us too to move on. It’s time, they said, to let Thierry’s misdemeanour go, that this play-off against Estonia was a brand new day. Football devotees, they alleged, have disturbingly long memories, they cling to the past, never let go, rooted in history, gripped by ancient fears.

And then they started talking about commemorating the Battle of the Boyne.

But enough of the presidential inauguration pundits, the hour was upon us: could Ireland do unto Estonia what Billy did unto Jimmy: see them off.

“I am grateful for the extent of the support, the strong mandate, you have given me. I also realise the challenges that I face, that we face together,” said President Michael D, spookily echoing Giovanni Trapattoni’s thoughts ahead of the game in Tallinn.

A breeze for Ireland? The notion irked Trapattoni tremendously when he spoke to RTÉ’s Dave Kelly.

“Why I ask to you, why we are favaroot – I don’t think no,” he said, reminding us that Estonia had done all kinds of mad things in their group that should have earned them enough respect to have us worrying about Jimmy seeing off Billy.

The RTÉ panel didn’t entirely share Trap’s trepidation, although John Giles was sufficiently concerned to forecast a scoreless draw.

Bill O’Herlihy was aghast. “Aren’t we getting a small bit neurotic about tonight’s match,” he said, reminding his comrades that Estonia’s world ranking – below Honduras and just above Tunisia – suggested that this should be an amble in the park.

“Hmmmm,” they replied as one, Giles, having reviewed the tapes, concluding that teams were equally gifted in the unpardonable art of giving the ball away, rather cheaply.

Eamon Dunphy had reviewed the tapes too, watching every single one of Estonia’s group games, which left him looking as exultant as Gay Mitchell after he heard the presidential count.

“Useful, hard-working,” said Eamon of the Estonians, which, he sort of intimated, made them sound awfully like us.

Gilesie concurred, more or less alleging – and we’re paraphrasing here – that the teams were as rubbish as each other, their fondness for passing to the opposition and lumping the ball to the heavens making the pair of them two peas in a play-off pod.

There was, mercifully, a marginally higher degree of confidence over on Sky Sports, where Brian Kerr and Packie Bonner were on punditry duty.

“The Euro 2012 opening ceremony is just 209 days away,” our host Pete Graves reminded us, as if that was no time at all – when, in fact, there’s a fair old chance the Euro, whatever about 2012, won’t even exist by then.

Anthems time. Estonia’s had no music, ours did. 1-0. And then Keith Andrews scored and they had a fella sent off.

Google. Search. Cheap. Polkraine. Hotels.

Gilesie? Elated? Not entirely. “You said it was caveman football,” revealed Bill, Gilesie nodding like a man who had hoped for Nat King Cole but got Westlife on their first farewell tour.

“We should be walking it, shouldn’t we?” asked Bill, and his panel nodded, Gilesie suggesting – although far too polite to say it – that Estonia were so utterly brutal we should have been pulverising them.

Which is what Trap’s boys did in the second half.

Goal, goal, goal, with another Estonian red card thrown in. We’re talking seriously happy days here.

Come full time, Giles, for all the world sounding like Judy’s pal Punch, declared: “That’s the way to do it!”

“Done and dusted,” said Liam. “The second leg doesn’t mean anything now,” agreed Gilesie. Bill, just off the phone from the Montrose money people promising they’d share tents with Occupy Warsaw to make a saving on accommodation, was delirious.

“There’s no way in the wide world ... ,” he said, which had the bookies reducing the odds on a 5-0 win for Estonia on Tuesday to odds-ish-on.

“What would be a good result in Estonia?” Jon Walters was asked on Monday.

“5-0,” he replied, with a grin.

You can’t always get what you want. Except a ticket to Polkraine? Oh happy days.