They could open a book of superlatives on Christian Cullen. He has been described variously as the best full-back in the world, the best attacking runner in world rugby and simply the best player in the world. But perhaps the best description came from the brilliant Wallaby scrum-half George Gregan: "He's a freak."
Of course, as Kenny Everitt was wont to say, Gregan meant this in the best possible taste. Cullen is just freakishly good. One reader this week was compelled to inquire whether a 21-year-old really could have played 18 Tests for the All Blacks already, and score 18 tries. Surely some mistake?
It gets better than that. He's rewriting the record books regularly and heaven knows what he will ultimately achieve. As things stand, in 74 first-class games he has scored 70 tries. There's probably never been anything quite like him before.
For starters there's the blistering pace, and with it an ability to step off either foot without decelerating. He's not particularly tall, at under 6ft (1.79m), or noticeably big (84kg), but there's also power and strength within that seemingly slight frame.
"He could be a powerlifter," reckons his strength adviser at the Wellington Hurricanes, Graeme Sciascia, who should know. It's almost scary to learn that Cullen can bench press something approaching twice his weight, 145kg. Only three Hurricanes players can surpass that, namely hooker Norm Hewitt, and props Bull Allen and Bill Cavubati.
So it is that Cullen can haul down players considerably bigger and bounce up from big hits as if he is indestructible. There's also the vision thing and a predatory eye for the line. The danger zone is literally anywhere on the pitch, as Llanelli discovered last week.
Retrieving a kick ahead behind his line, he was faced with a notional attacker whereupon he chipped deftly, gathered and sprinted 75 metres untouched for the pick of his four-try tour opener. A benchmark?
Arguably the try that summed up his unique talent came against Australia at Dunedin in this year's Tri-Nations. It was a try that summed up these All Blacks as well as Cullen, Zinzan Brooke catching an up-and-under inside halfway and firing a 30 metre pass inside for Cullen to take at full tilt and weave his magical way through to score.
It was akin to the parting of the seas, and it's Cullen's personal favourite of `the 18' as well, though to hear him describe this try it was more like a Boys' Own comic book.
There's an element of the Boys' Own, too, about Cullen's meteoric rise. A great nephew of 1951 All Black Brian Steele, and originally a first five-eighth (out-half) before graduating to full-back via centre, Cullen was educated at Paek akariki School and Kapiti College, hence his quixotic moniker - the Paekakariki Express.
Such accolades, along with the various compliments, sit uncomfortably on this unassuming lad. Like all these All Blacks, there isn't a hint of arrogance. Boyish-looking and a touch awkward when the Irish Times stranger pushes a recorder in front of him during the skirmishes that were the All Blacks `media hour,' Cullen may be made for the high-profile professional era but interviews are not his favourite part of the job.
"You can read those things in the paper but if I read them and I believed them, I'd kind of get complacent. If people want to talk about you like that, then they can but I don't really take too much notice of them."
This probably emanates from the extensive influence of his father Chris senior, who always analysed his performance after games at Kapiti and continually told him to "keep his feet on the ground."
Chris and mother Trish, as ever, will be at the game today.
So when did he first think he might have this game of rugby cracked? "Probably when I was 16, when I made my first NZ team at schoolboys. That's when I thought maybe I could go all the way."
He thinks he might have gone to university but for rugby, though the thought interests him so much he doesn't mention what he might have studied. "We came into it at the right age and it turned professional for us at the right time I guess." He smiles. "Just pretty good timing. It's made for us. We can train, eat, sleep, everything rugby and it's good."
Frank Oliver was another big influence, unleashing Cullen on an unsuspecting world in the New Zealand under-19 team and thereafter on the Manawatu/Central Vikings provincial team and Hurricanes' Super 12 team.
In hindsight, there probably should have been a law against Cullen playing sevens rugby. Too much space, but too late now. In the 1996 Uruguay sevens he scored 11 tries in five games and followed that with a record 18 tries in Hong Kong, including seven in one game. In 18 games for the New Zealand seven (that's 270 minutes) he set further landmarks of 349 points and 41 tries. I'm not making this stuff up. Ridiculous really.
Seven more tries in the Super 12 and a hat-trick in the All Black trial last year earned him a first Test against Western Samoa. Some people asked whether he could effectively make the transition. They stopped asking after 20 minutes, when Cullen scored the first of another hat-trick.
He added four more in his second Test against Scotland - needless to say no international player has ever announced his arrival in such prodigious manner. After a relative lull, nine tries in eight internationals this season, have maintained his stunning strike-rate.
Remarkably, the word from NZ is that the equally brilliant Todd Miller is pushing Cullen for his place. Surely they jest? "All the guys are under pressure for the All Black jersey. You're not guaranteed a spot. You got to work for your position. As John Hart said, he's picking on form, so if you lose your form, the next fella jumps in. Competition is good."
When pushed, even Hart breaks with the deadpan stuff and concedes that Cullen "has to be right up there with the best in the world. I mean, he's got speed, he's got a huge step and he's got vision."
But Hart adds the rider: "He's got a long way to go yet. He's growing in the game and I think he has huge talent but he's still got aspects of his game to work at." Namely? "I think he's got defensive areas to work at on his game and the odd line or two in terms of entry into the back line."
Cullen is said to be a tad dodgy under the high ball, and he looked almost clumsy when flummoxed by an admittedly sliced up-and-under and wicked bounce in conceding a soft try to South Africa.
Against the same opponents in Auckland last summer, there was also evidence of Cullen sometimes being too quick for his own good and thus becoming isolated. Running onto a blind-side pass off a scrum from Justin Marshall, he was brilliantly tackled by Joost Van der Westhuizen and duly laid the ball down. No support. Gary Teichmann hacked on and, with no cover, scored untouched.
Jeff Wilson concedes that he's still getting used to playing with Cullen. But these things are all relative. South African full-back Andre Joubert this year generously conceded: "He's a superstar. For an old man like me, it's great to see a guy who is such a terrific mover.
"He's so fast, he can change direction so quickly and he's so committed. I don't mind talking about him because he deserves the praise. When you play against him, you must put the ball out. If you don't, well, he can be lethal. He has the ability to create space for himself as well as his team mates. I don't think it's a case of `is he the best full-back?' He is."
All this from the man who has willingly abdicated the throne.
The succession has been completed. Simply the best.