TV View: It was a broadcast of such epic, lengthy magnitude our Setanta hosts even had to change costumes half way through, Matt Cooper, Ronnie Whelan and Pat Dolan all slipping in to something more comfortable after Act I (Switzerland v Israel), in time for Act II (France v the Faroe Islands).TV View
Not for the first time, though, Pat comprehensively out-dappered his colleagues. Ronnie, somewhat lazily, just switched from a blue to a purple shirt, Matt from beige to white, but Pat swapped a grey shirt with a white collar and a black waistcoat for an all-white shirt with a blackish/greyish pin-striped waistcoat. We're taking serious Milan-catwalk-sartorial-elegance here. Truly, Pat is the only man in Irish sport who makes Roddy Collins seem underdressed.
Any way, you'd have been dizzy from it all. Ronnie certainly was, to the point where, when discussing tactics for Wednesday's game at Lansdowne Road, he insisted that "3-5-1 doesn't work for Ireland".
Brian Kerr wouldn't disagree, the last thing you want to be doing against the French is only starting with 10 men, it'll be hard enough with eleven.
In between the trips to Basel and Lens, and to give Pat, Matt and Ronnie time to change, Setanta took us back to Lansdowne Road in 1977 and 1981 for a couple of old Ireland v France encounters.
Hair. Everywhere. Johnny Giles and Mark Lawrenson could have been Bee Gees. All they needed to complete the look
was a gold medallion and a silk shirt. But, sure, they probably had them hanging up in the dressing room.
And skin and bone. Everywhere. David O'Leary looked like he hadn't eaten since leaving Dublin for Arsenal. Actually, watching TG4's Sacar Gold on Saturday night it occurred to us that the only person in the history of world football to get skinnier as the years progressed is Roy Keane. In TG4's game, from the 1994-95 season, Keane had a rear end on him of J-Lo proportions, but, like Giles and Lawrenson's gold medallions, it's long since disappeared.
The good thing about TG4 showing us these games from ancient times is that the young people of Ireland get to learn that Giles, Lawrenson, Whelan, Liam Brady and Frank Stapleton, to name but five, actually played football before becoming pundits.
And, on the whole, they were a bit useful too. God alone knows what they might have achieved if they'd been fed.
Back to 2005 and the Setanta panel. Pat, having forecast a draw between Switzerland and Israel, predicted a 3-0 win for France over the Faroes Islands. Spooky. "And I would like to add, Matt," he said, before bidding adieu later that night, "that Peter Canavan will convert an injury-time free at Croke Park tomorrow to give Tyrone a 1-13 to 1-12 victory over Armagh."
No, no, he didn't, but if Matt had bothered to ask him for his forecast that's probably what he would have said. Joe Brolly was marginally less decisive with his prediction when Michael Lyster challenged him to get off the fence.
"I'm sure Tyrone will win it," he said, "but I can't see Armagh being beaten."
Our money was on Armagh. If they signed Roy Keane he'd probably say to them, after the first training session, "Jesus, relax lads, ye're far too intense."
Neil Lennon's money was on them too. The Celtic captain, a guest on RTÉ's Park Live yesterday, played minor football for Armagh in his youth and would have had an Ulster title to his name if it wasn't for a Derry minor team that featured a young fella by the name of Anthony Tohill who "plucked balls out of the sky" all afternoon.
Kieran McGeeney was a team-mate of Lennon on that team. Would he have made it in soccer?
"Yes," said Lennon, without hesitation, guessing that McGeeney's intensity and commitment would have made him a success in any sport he played.
Maybe even synchronised swimming. Presenter Ger Gilroy purred at the prospect of McGeeney lining out in an Old Firm derby.
The transfer window reopens in January. "Hello Kieran, my name's Gordon," might just be the gist of the call.
Armagh's pre-match breakfast? "It used to be a good old Ulster fry before matches," former Armagh goalkeeper Benny Tierney told Park Live, "but we've changed that now to muesli - which tastes a wee bit like what you'd find at the bottom of a budgie's cage."
"Francie Bellew or Giant Haystacks?" Tierney was then asked. Benny opted for Francie, but, as it proved, Tyrone ended the day as Ulster's Big Daddy.
