Blue rinse, twin-sets, zimmer-frames. Lawn bowls offers an easy parody to those who dwell on the age profile of the participants and aficionados. But the images of lazy, hazy days in summer on manicured swards could not be further removed from the present clime where a dispute threatens to irrevocably split the distaff side of the sport in Ireland.
An emergency meeting of the Ladies Bowling League of Ireland (LBLI), the governing body in the Republic of Ireland, in Dublin today could ring the death knell of the 32-county Irish Women's Bowling Association (IWBA). It contains the additional baggage of a North-South spat, an aberration at a time of rapprochement in sport and politics.
The nub of the dispute centres on a letter sent by the LBLI to the Northern Ireland Sports Council - a copy of which was forwarded to IWBA secretary Vera Canning - criticising the manner in which the IWBA was run, complaining that the LBLI was not adequately represented in terms of voting power and questioning the manner in which funds provided by the Northern Ireland Sports Council were administered.
Matters came to a head at the a.g.m. of the IWBA at Lisburn's Hilden Bowling Club on November 19th, when officers, including Canning and former international Freda Elliott, pointed to alleged inaccuracies in the LBLI's letter.
The LBLI received a response from the IWBA in which the latter demanded to know "the perpetrator or perpetrators" of the original letter and sought a full retraction and apology before the end of this week. This ultimatum was accompanied by the threat of suspending all LBLI players from international and domestic competitions if the association refused to comply.
The LBLI's original letter points out that they are the second largest of the four associations - the other three, the Private Greens, Public Parks and Provincial Towns are based in Ulster - yet have only 15 per cent of the voting rights.
The letter further alleges that money provided by the Northern Ireland Sports Council for international expenses has not been used exclusively for the benefit of players at that level, who have had to pay their own way, while a surplus in IWBA funds has been accumulated.
The IWBA ultimatum, far from offering scope for negotiation and ultimately the possibility of an amicable resolution of the problem, may have exacerbated the impasse. The letter from the LBLI was signed by 250 members of the 747-strong association - only about 300 members were canvassed to sign.
The IWBA's reaction is reputed to have inspired widespread outrage within the LBLI and hardened their resolve on the issue. Had the IWBA been more conciliatory initially, it is believed that the LBLI may have apologised and withdrawn the letter.
Today's special LBLI council meeting is expected to address a proposal that they will admit and apologise for minor inaccuracies in a number of factual references in the original letter but will not apologise for the general tone or withdraw their misgivings.
The LBLI delegates to the IWBA will travel to Belfast for a meeting on Friday to outline the position of the LBLI council on the matter. Depending on the LBLI's stance, a meeting of the national team selectors (IWBA) has been pencilled in for Sunday.
On the agenda will be a proposal to de-select any Southern bowlers from international trial teams, British Isles and World Bowls competitions.