Strange as it might seem, Alex Ferguson has a lot in common with Bill Clinton these days. Both men are, after all, lame ducks in their respective professions, now that their retirement dates are known and the media are all a-frenzy figuring out who might succeed them.

Al Gore and George W Bush, though, are just about the only two men on this planet not yet linked with the Old Trafford job. Last week Manchester United chairman Martin Edwards suggested Sir's number two, Steve McClaren, would be an ideal replacement for the Knight in, em, whining armour, which prompted Sir to annoy everyone at Elland Road by offering to supply a glowing reference for David "My babies have done me proud" O'Leary, should he wish to apply for the job in two years.

"Rubbish," say Soccernet, the football internet site. They told us, exclusively, on Saturday that United have lined up Barcelona manager Louis Van Gaal as their replacement for Ferguson, adding that Rivaldo's wife is taking English lessons - confirmation that 'im indoors will be moving to Manchester in the summer (and not to Maine Road either).