On the first official invitation list for this year's US Masters, Tiger Woods appears as the most exempt player in the tournament's history. In their quaint way, the green jackets like to emphasise the notion of an invited field, but with only a few exceptions, the participants have to meet clear, qualifying criteria.

Like Padraig Harrington, who will be there as having finished in the top eight (he was fifth) in last year's US Open and being in the top-50 of the world rankings at the end last month. As it happens, the latter exemption gives Darren Clarke his only route into the field on this occasion.

But Woods qualifies on seven counts: as a former Masters winner, as US Open champion, British Open champion, USPGA champion, top-16 in last year's Masters (he was fifth), top-40 on the 2000 USPGA Tour money list (he was first) and top-50 in world rankings (first). The next most exempt player in Ernie Els, runner-up in three "majors" last year, including the Masters.

Explorer: "There we were, surrounded. Fierce creatures everywhere we looked. Some of them letting out excruciating cries and beating their clubs on the ground."

Bored Listener: "Weren't you aware that golf is now a universal game?"