A round-up of today's other stories in brief
Look no further for Christmas
On the off chance that you haven't all your Christmas shopping done we thought we'd try and help you out. Are you still agonising over what to get the Everton-supporting poodle in your life? Agonise no more - if you visit the club's online shop you'll find a quite exquisite Everton dog bowl. Seriously.
Is your better half an Aston Villa fan? Well, how about the official Aston Villa swing-top bin with all-over crest and removable lid? (Less of your "that's where they should put Juan Pablo Angel".)
Is your mother a Celtic supporter? Look no further than the official Glasgow Celtic Fields of Athenry clock. When the alarm sounds the doors of the clock open, revealing what appear to be four little Neil Lennons, and they'll be taking Michael away for stealing Trevelyn's corn by the time your mother's putting on her slippers. Brilliant.
We found our very, very favourite Christmas present, though, on www.robbiekeane.com - it's entirely up to yourself who you want to give it to, but you should probably rule out your grandpa. It's: the Robbie Keane Classic Thong, aimed at Robbie-loving "panty-minimalists", featuring a striking green Robbie silhouette which appears to show the end bit of that goal celebration of his. There you are, Christmas shopping done.
Quotes of the week
"I don't want to give Robbie Blake any praise - but I thought he was the difference, I thought he was superb." - Burnley supremo Steve Cotterill.
"I sent around a text message saying 'this is Gary Neville's new mobile number'. A few minutes later, my phone beeped with a reply saying: 'so what?' That was Roy's sense of humour." - Gary Neville, pining for his skipper.
"I guess I was known as Cyrille's nephew, although people rarely came up to me and asked me and I'm not sure that many people knew." - Wigan's Jason Roberts on how everybody and nobody knew Cyrille Regis was his uncle.
"I am not crazy, Beckham was playing very well but he was playing with a sore back and people have not understood the substitution - the next time I will let him die." - Real Madrid coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo after supporters booed his decision to take Beckham off against Lyon.
"We are learning on a learning curve." - Rio Ferdinand, with a lotta learning to do.
Chelsea's top of the pops
Chelsea have just released a CD featuring the favourite songs of their players. Back in the 1980s every footballer on planet earth listed Luther Vandross as their favourite singer but most of them have moved on . . . except John Terry. He chose Luther's So Amazing as his top tune and, having looked up the lyrics, we're half guessing he has Jose in mind when he listens to it: "Not even one sad day or minute have I had since you've come my way, I hope you know I'd gladly go, Anywhere you'd take me. (Real Madrid?) It's so amazing to be loved, I'd follow you to the moon in the sky above."
There are, to be blunt, some dodgy choices in there - eg Frank Lampard opted for Lionel Richie's Stuck on You - but standing out quite dazzlingly, in the middle of all the sludgy stuff, is the selection of one Damien Duff: Christy Moore's Joxer Goes to Stuttgart. How brilliant is that? (Except they spell it "Joxter").
PS: The Daily Mirror spotted an "astonishingly unfortunate piece of track sequencing" on the CD. "Didier Drogba picks a track by tragic singer Aaliyah, killed aged only 22 in a plane crash. The next song, selected by goalkeeper Petr Cech, is . . . I Believe I Can Fly."
More quotes of the week
"To defend my family, and I've always said this, I am Bin Laden. If that's what it takes I really have no limits." - Maradona, vowing to shoot the media again if they ever turn up on his door step.
"There is a major crisis of Italian goalkeepers at the moment. Gianluigi Buffon with a broken shoulder is still better than anyone else in the country." - Former Italian international Stefano Tacconi offers a big vote of confidence to Buffon's understudies.
"Gary Speed needs a biologist to dissect his body and find out why he's beyond being a normal human being. If I could clone what he has I would be in a massive palace with 16 maids around me and 55 cars - because it would be that valuable." - Bolton Wanderers' Sam Allardyce, a bit surprised that Speed is still going at the age of 36.
"It's not a massive ambition. If the call comes I'll be happy to take it but at the moment I'm just concentrating on Kevin Nolan and Bolton Wanderers." - Eh, Bolton Wanderers' Kevin Nolan, breathlessly waiting for a call from the FAI.
"If we had taken one of the two or three chances that we had we would have beaten Villarreal easily." - Manchester United goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar. But Edwin . . . yiz didn't.
Keane linked with greater conflicts
We, alas, missed the brief discussion on Lyric FM last week about Roy Keane's departure from Manchester United but luckily a Football 365 reader heard it and got in touch with the website to give them the gist.
"One lady noted that Roy had previously had a history of arguing with people and she referred very pointedly to the incident in 'Saigon'," they said. "Roy has been known to have a disagreement or two but blaming him for the whole Vietnam conflict is still a tad extreme." True enough.
Kewell also looking to get out of there
Less-than-pleased footballer of the week? Harry Kewell, perhaps. There he is, trying to convince Liverpool supporters that, honestly, he is really, really committed to the club when his wife, actress Sheree Murphy, tells her pals that his dream is "to play in Europe - Italy or Spain". Did she tell them on the quiet? Oh no - she told them on ITV's I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Cue frantic statement from Harry reaffirming his devotion to the club, followed by a vow to continue working very, very hard. At which point Sheree tells the nation: "They get an easy life. They're in at 10am and train until 12.30pm or 1pm. Then they're back home." We reckon Harry'll be running up a substantial phone bill trying to vote her off the show.
