"To say our players drink and gamble is a slur and a libel."

- Middlesbrough chief executive Keith Lamb responds to Paul Merson's allegations that the club's players spend more time drinking and gambling than training. Middlesbrough "ace" Paul Gascoigne backed up Lamb's assertion as he fell in to a taxi outside a Sunderland night-club at four in the morning one night last week.

"I might have to say one or two things to the players in an English they understand."

- David Pleat, Spurs' director of football (who appears not to like foreigners very much), on his short-term strategy for the club following the sacking of Christian Gross.

"Instead of smelling the roses, I'll try to smell the club."

- David Pleat talking "an English" that no one could possibly understand.

"Traditionally, Americans employ for words in conversation `Yeah . . . Oh . . . Right . . . and Sorry'."

- The Daily Mirror, in their balanced, well-thought-out appraisal of BSkyB's American Chief executive Mark Booth last week.

"Any sign of a well-promised rebellion within United's faithful had long been dismissed. They had threatened hell for Edwards but instead they had got a slice of early-season heaven. And with it a fair demonstration for Murdoch and his financial advisers that the true fan is more concerned about what happens on the pitch than any meddling in the boardroom."

- The Sun's account of the atmosphere at Old Trafford last Wednesday night, following the announcement that Rupert Murdoch had bought the club. Murdoch owns The Sun.

"The Theatre of Dreams had become the Theatre of Screams. `Martin Edwards, you're a w****r' was spat out to a man. And a woman. `We'll keep the red flag flying high', was sung with a passionate venom aimed at the new owner."

- The Daily Mirror's account of the atmosphere at Old Trafford last Wednesday night, following the announcement that Rupert Murdoch had bought the club. Murdoch doesn't own the Mirror.

"What will he do with his £79.5 million change?"

Two Manchester City fans chat on the club's internet discussion site last week.