"Rodney Jack hit an unstoppable shot which took the net to stop it."

- Sky Sports reporter Chris Kamara.

"The taxi driver called me Sir Alex this morning but I told him Alex Ferguson is the one with the blotchy face."

- Scotland manager Craig Brown after an unfortunate case of mistaken identity.

"I speak to Stan regularly and I can tell you that all he wants to feel is appreciated."

- Stan Collymore's friend Chris Wright takes a swipe at John Gregory, but fails to explain exactly what Stan has done to earn the Aston Villa manager's appreciation.

"Yes, we stayed in some nice hotels, but a bed is a bed."

- Alan Rothenberg, the head of the FIFA delegation which inspected England's bid to host the 2006 World Cup last week, denies the whole trip was one big juicy junket.

"It's not because Regi's crap, it's just Cockney rhyming slang, Regi Blinker - stinker."

- Ian Wright explains why he told his new Celtic team-mate that he'd `had a Regi' at training.