"Maybe it is better to weep in a Rolls Royce than on the bus."

- "Rich And Unhappy" v "Poor And Unhappy"? Sven Goran Eriksson opts for the former.

"There's a streaker on the pitch - I can't tell if it's a man or a woman, to be honest."

- Sky Sports' pundit Steve Bruce, clearly, can't tell his bits from his bobs.

"We are all equal in the eyes of God, and anyway people must know that coloured people are the best equipped at sport."

- Verona president Giambattista Pastorello attempts to prove he's not racist. And fails.

"I've had one or two run-ins with Mr Poll but I'm not going to comment. I find it really hard not to, but I'm not going to - I never criticise referees. But he was poor."

- Sunderland manager Peter Reid after the 1-0 defeat by Manchester United.

"It's getting to him . . . just look at him next time he's on TV. He never looks at the interviewer and comes out with baffling gibberish. The cameraman deserves a bonus for keeping his head in the frame."

- Brian Clough suggests Coventry boss Gordon Strachan is feeling the strain.

"There's a very good atmosphere in the team and whoever tries to spoil it will die. Death! You all know what the word means. Obedience means life."

- Panathinaikos coach Angelos Anastasiadis pretty much rules out a bid for Stan Collymore.