"We have a shortlist and it's not that long."
- Manchester United managing director David Gill.
"I scored at Liverpool on the opening day of the season - a 'big balls' goal."
- West Ham's Paolo di Canio. Don't look at us, we dunno what he meant either.
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"Soccer Boss In Sex Punch-Up"
- Tremendous headline in the Star that referred to a brawl between the wife and mistress of Darlington's commercial manager.
"People have got this preconceived idea of me as a fat bastard who can't move."
- Goal "keeper" Andy Goram. We're saying nothing.
