"Getting the ball outside the area and not being able to shoot is like dancing with your sister."

- Diego Maradona. Explanation? Sorry, can't help.

"He is in very bad physical shape, he even seems to have problems just trapping the ball."

- Juventus general director Luciano Moggi on the condition and talents of Pavel Nedved who, em, cost the club £26 million during the summer.

"If we lose I will hang myself from the crossbar - I hope you will grieve for me."

- Iranian coach Miroslav (RIP) Blazevic.

"I have great respect their manager Mick McCarthy because he is one of the top managers in the world if you look at his record. But in the time I have know him his hair has turned white - and he frightens me."

- Blazevic speaking not just for himself.

"If people start saying we are favourites, I will laugh myself to death."

- Spanish coach Jose Antonio Camacho finding talk of Spain winning the World Cup funny, in a deadly way.