Rain stops play and the guessing games begin

Rain-delays in Heidelberg this week provided an ideal opportunity for some mid-season mathematical games about the Ryder Cup

Rain-delays in Heidelberg this week provided an ideal opportunity for some mid-season mathematical games about the Ryder Cup. Even Dave McNeilly, Padraig Harrington's caddie, felt sure he could predict the side to face the Americans in September. But if the European and US teams were to be picked today, one to 12 in the respective points tables, no fewer than 11 players would be missing from the 24 who did battle at Brookline.

By way of illustrating the rapidly changing face of the professional game, Paul McGinley would be among five new caps on this side of the Atlantic, while the only American newcomers would be Joe Durant, Scott Verplank and David Toms. As Sam Goldwyn might have observed, a lot of people have passed water under the bridge since September 1999.

Justin Leonard, perceived by the Americans as the hero of Brookline, has fallen to 17th place, while in Europe, the hapless rookies of two years ago, Jean Van de Velde, Jarmo Sandelin and Andrew Coltart, have all but disappeared from view. Then, of course, where was the tragic demise of Payne Stewart.

The US points battle, over a two-year period, is at an advanced stage, but in Europe, we have reached only halfway. In fact there are marginally more points (euros) available in the remaining 18 tournaments (43.4 million) than there have been in the preceding 27 (42.98 million).

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It is estimated that 800,000 points at the end of the BMW International Open on September 2nd will secure automatic selection. Which means the only players certain of making the European team at this stage are Pierre Fulke, Harrington, Lee Westwood, Thomas Bjorn and Darren Clarke.

It also means only two wild cards can be offered between Colin Montgomerie, Jesper Parnevik, Sergio Garcia, Jose-Maria Olazabal, Miguel Angel Jimenez and Paul Lawrie if they don't make it by right. Incidentally, McNeilly thinks McGinley is sure to be in, so giving Ireland three representatives for the first time since 1975.

"The side of my brain that controls my left side is still young. It's not beaten with bad memories.

- The incorrigible - and ambidextrous - Mac O'Grady, who won two USPGA regular tour events as a righthander, explaining why he plans to enter the Senior Tour School later this year as a left-hander.

Ideal for film role

There's talk of a movie being made about the secret, illegitimate son of Harry Vardon, winner of a record six British Opens. It has been prompted by the publication of a book Harry Vardon: The Revealing Story of a Champion Golfer, written by Audrey Howell about her 75-year-old husband Peter, the son in question.

Earlier this year, the Howells, who live in Tunbridge Wells, were guests of honour at a fund-raising dinner in Jersey. The objective was to help raise £50,000 for a statue of Vardon commissioned by the island's golf community to bring belated recognition to their favourite son. The statue will stand at the entrance to the Royal Jersey GC, close by the birthplace of Vardon in a humble cottage.

"Just occasionally, it crosses my mind that if he had had the guts to be with me, I might have been a champion golfer myself," said Peter Howell. "But he didn't and I don't blame him."

Apparently while in his 50s, Vardon began an affair with an English dancer and hotel housekeeper named Tilly Howell, who gave birth to Peter in 1926. The boy was raised by Tilly's sister Connie and her partner, Walter, and it wasn't until he was heading overseas during the second World War that Walter told him about his father.

If the movie happens to be made, it is to be hoped that Hollywood will come up with a genuine, golfing actor to play the great man and not another high-handicap imposter to follow the contrived, recent efforts of Kevin Costner (Tin Cup) and Matt Damon (The Legend of Bagger Vance). Indeed I can recommend an ideal man for the job.

Randy Quaid, who flirted with the idea of tournament golf before discovering acting, was very much the genuine article in Dead Solid Perfect, the 1988 movie of Dan Jenkins's novel. Now aged 50, Quaid's handicap has slipped out from an impressive one to eight, but according to reports, he is still swinging as sweetly as ever. And as a bonus, the man can act.

All Greek to me

On the eve of the Deutsche Bank TPC of Europe in Heidelberg this week, golf scribes were invited to a potentially interesting reception involving Sam Torrance. Our hosts were Pfizer who, under their motto "On course for Life',' wanted to explain an arrangement they had entered into with the European Ryder Cup skipper.

At a busy time of the day for us, we became somewhat concerned when a representative of the chemical company spoke for about half a hour in German. In fact as he went on and on, I was consumed by a growing fear that he had forgotten how his speech ended. Then came a second speaker who also addressed us only in German - for about 20 minutes. And like the wedding guest from Coleridge's Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, I could not choose but hear. He, too, illustrated his speech with slides while Torrance sat mute, sipping from a bottle of water.

Listening intently for some mention of the Ryder Cup, enlightenment came in a curious way. On one of the illustrative slides were the words Erektile Dysfunktion. We were indeed on course for life, via one of Pfizer's more notable products. Oh incidentally, Torrance spoke for a few minutes by way of rounding off the proceedings.

Caddies role

Images remain fresh of Angelo Argea, the former caddie to Jack Nicklaus, standing with the flagstick in hand while the great man crouched, studying the line of a putt. Tall and slim with a shock of grey hair and a handlebar moustache, Argea became a particularly familiar figure during Nicklaus's great, unavailing duel with Tom Watson in the 1977 British Open at Turnberry.

The game's enthusiasts have often wondered, however, what precisely Argea did for his master, given that the Bear always took care of his own yardages for club selection and would not seek help in reading greens. The question was put to him recently by Johnny Miller.

"He asked me to do two things," replied Argea. "One, when he's not playing well, to remind him that he's the best golfer out there. And two, that there's plenty of holes left." Unfortunately for Nicklaus, as Turnberry's titanic struggle ground to a conclusion, the caddie would have been of little help on either count.

None of which will lessen the appeal of a more venerable Bear, however, when he appears in the Senior British Open at Royal Co Down in July.

This day in golf history

On May 19th, 1934, Ky Laffoon set a world aggregate record for a standard 18-hole golf course with a score of 266 for 72 holes. Laffoon, who was 26, returned the score while winning the Park Hill Open in Denver, Colorado. One of the true eccentrics of the US Tour, he was part Native American which led to the sobriquet "The Chief" from his colleagues. Not surprisingly, he went on to win the Radix Cup, the forerunner of the Vardon Trophy, for the lowest stroke average on tour that year.

TEASER: A ball played from off the green was about a foot from the hole and still in motion when it was moved by a dog to a spot about 10 feet from the hole. The ball was either deflected by the dog or the dog picked it up, ran with it and dropped it. What is the ruling?

ANSWER: If the ball was deflected, it would be played as it lay, without penalty, from the spot to which it was moved by the dog (Rule 19-1). If the dog picked up the ball, the player should have placed the ball, without penalty, as near as possible to the spot where the original ball was when the dog picked it up (Rule 19-1a).