The bizarre realisation that the design for the new space-age media centre at Lord's has been based on nothing less than Wallace's piano-keyboard grin was not the most appropriate yesterday. This was no laughing place as England, teetering drunkenly from a sublime morning to a ridiculous afternoon, lost the second Test by 10 wickets, giving South Africa a one-match advantage in the series.

It was a case not so much of the wrong trousers (that was Mike Atherton here four years ago) as both legs in one hole. All it will need is for the footballers to foul up against Romania and for Tim Henman to exit Wimbledon in the first round to complete a cracking few days for English sport.

It was ineptitude of a quality in which England appear to be brand leaders. Having been bowled out by Allan Donald and Shaun Pollock in prime bowling conditions on Saturday - both could have shut their eyes and imagined they were running in at Kingsmead, such was the heat and humidity - England, following on 250 behind, were 105 for two overnight with Nasser Hussain unbeaten on 52.

They lost the nightwatchman Dean Headley early on but then flourished gloriously as Hussain and Alec Stewart took the attack to the bowlers with a fourth wicket stand of 116, savaging the second new ball in the process. Shortly after lunch Hussain, to his unbridled joy, reached his first century at Lord's in any cricket and his seventh in Tests, and went on to reach 105, while Stewart made 56.

There it all but ended. In the space of a dozen overs, 222 for three had become 233 for nine, the damage done not by Donald or Pollock but by the secondstring spear-carriers Lance Klusener and Jacques Kallis, who swung the ball around disconcertingly at times.

On the ground that became so familiar to him during his summer with Middlesex last year, Kallis took four for 24, the best figures of his Test career. County cricket is too often denigrated by those abroad, but it does not prevent them from using it as a finishing school. Kallis is the latest example of letting the enemy inspect your territory before the battle.

This may have been the longest day but, had it not been for a jaunty last-wicket partnership of 31 between Angus Fraser and Robert Croft, the match would not have extended beyond the tea interval. As it was, the prospect of chasing all of 15 to win proved none too daunting for Gary Kirsten and Daryll Cullinan (opening instead of Adam Bacher, who hurt his right shoulder in the field).

It was further evidence that England and these few acres of St John's Wood are not natural bedfellows. Afterwards Jonty Rhodes, presentd with the Man of the Match award by Bob Willis for his century and superb fielding, was asked by David Gower to comment on the "power of Lord's". To a born-again Christian, this was the longest half-volley of the week. There had been no indication of impending havoc during an exhilarating morning session. By the time Donald and Pollock conceded, 59 runs had come from 14 overs with the new ball, Hussain rampaging from 73 to 100 with the aid of six boundaries.

It was Stewart's dismissal which sparked the slide. Driving at Kallis, he appeared to have edged to the wicketkeeper, although his long pause to watch the replay screen conveyed the impression that he had not made contact. After Mark Ramprakash was adjudged caught behind by Darrell Hair even though the ball came off his elbow, he dawdled and then spoke to Hair. It was not to compliment him on the quality of his decision.

Hair reported "physical and verbal dissent" to the referee Javed Burki, who because of "the state of the match and Ramp rakash's involvement" delayed his decision "until an appropriate time". This appeared to be while Ramprakash was waiting to bat yesterday, when he was informed that he would be fined 25 per cent of his match fee - £840 - and receive a one-match ban suspended for six months pending good behaviour.

Stewart's reaction to Sharp's verdict and Donald's petulance when a catch from Hussain to short leg was, correctly, deemed to have come from the batsman's thigh pad are also believed to have aroused the referee's interest.