Sadlier's cup is half full

English FA Cup final: It's taken a while, and there are still plenty of days when he curses the hip that forced him to retire…

English FA Cup final: It's taken a while, and there are still plenty of days when he curses the hip that forced him to retire from football at the age of 24, but Richard Sadlier has accepted his lot. He just wishes everyone else would too.

"It really does my head in when I'm having a meal or I'm out with a friend and someone comes up and tells me about some bloody medical cure their granny had, that I was daft to retire," he laughs.

"I know they mean well, but I'm looking at them and I'm thinking: do you really believe I didn't explore every single possible avenue that would have allowed me carry on playing football?

"I had two operations and what I'm left with now is a hip that has very little cartilage, there's nothing they can do. My hip bones are rubbing off each other every time I move, that's where I get the pain. That's not going to change, it might improve slightly when I get a new hip, but that's years away."

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End of story?

"End of story."

Inevitably, though, his phone has been hopping since the final whistle in the FA Cup semi-final between Millwall and Sunderland at Old Trafford. If he'd a euro for every time he was asked "would you like to be playing in the final, Richard?" he'd be as wealthy as the Premiership footballer he was tipped to become.

"To be honest I did find the semi-final hard to watch, but it only happens now and then, when I get a day when I let things get to me. People keep asking me does it hit home even more now, with the final coming up, but to be honest it impacted on me just as much when I woke up on an average Monday or Tuesday morning and I wasn't going in to training.

"That was the hardest part, the structure was gone. Even when I was injured it was still a very, very disciplined routine. You're fined fairly heavily if you're one minute late, so for eight years of your life you know that if you're a minute late they'll take £100 off you. Then when I finished I didn't get out of bed at all, stayed there every day until one or two, no reason to get up, except to walk the dog. The more that went on the more it got to me, so I joined a local gym and just started making an effort to get up and do something."

What snapped you out of it?

"I didn't like the way my belly was looking," he laughs, "it was just bloody vanity, nothing more than that. Honest, that's what it was. Also, I get a bit of pain with my hip and my back if I'm inactive - it hurts if I do too much, but if I do nothing at all it stiffens up and gets quite tight, so I had to get up and out."

Any anguish he was feeling he kept well hidden. On the surface Sadlier appeared to be remarkably accepting of his crushing disappointment.

"It was all an act," he laughs.

A brave face? "That's all it was. Everyone thought I handled it well but the people I lived with had no escape from me. But in the back of my mind was a huge feeling that a whole load of other people were going through a hell of a lot worse than simply being told 'you can't play football again'. I didn't want to be dwelling on it too much because of that 'worse things can happen' feeling, you know?

"That was the 'brave face' side of it, but I was heartbroken for months. I loved what I did, but I always knew it would come to an end, I just thought it would happen in my mid-30s, not this young.

"People were very awkward around me, they didn't know what to say. I found it strange, really hated it, hated getting sympathy, didn't want that at all, all those silly sorrowful looks I was getting. It was doing my head in, to be honest.

"A few years back one of the lads in the (Millwall) team, one of the lads I was close to, Neil Harris, got testicular cancer. I'm not in any way comparing not being able to play football with having cancer, but it was a similar reaction, people just didn't know what to say to Neil at the time. So when I finished I knew people would come up and awkwardly shake my hand, just mumble out some words, not be able to really look me in the eye, and then just walk away, and I just hated people feeling that awkward around me. My answer to that for a while was not to go near the club, but after I sorted my head out and accepted I was retired and that wasn't going to change it was okay. Just get on with things. Move on."

Not so easy to move on, though, when you're not quite sure where to start.

"When you play football, when you come straight from school into it, you really don't have to think about other jobs, it doesn't bother you that you're no good at anything else because football is your life. But I when I finished I just thought: 'Jesus, I'm actually no good at anything else'.

"It's a false little world that you're living in because you get absolutely everything done for you. Silly things. You never have decisions to make, if you have the right agent you'll have advisors, you'll have supporters to help you, the manager and the chairman will help you, and every problem you come against your mate in the dressing room has probably come up against it before, so he'll help you out too, give you advice. So when you finish all this is gone, it can be bloody frightening. But it's grand, you keep your head, deal with it."

By then Sadlier had already started a Sports Science and Coaching degree in Roehampton University (he's just completed his second year) and was offered a job with Drury Sports as an agent after his retirement. He enjoyed it, was grateful for the opportunity, but when, a few weeks ago, Millwall offered him a full-time job back at the club he joined when he was 17 he accepted it, with joy.

"As part of my course I did some coaching at Millwall and on the back of that they asked me to come back full time, coaching, overseeing the recruitment side of things for the academy and the scouting set-up. I just thought 'Jesus, this is too good to be true'. I'm back in the routine I used to have: I'm in the training ground every morning by nine, the routine is back, the lads, the banter, the dressing-room, all that. Back in football.

"I absolutely love what I do, coaching each morning in the academy. Twenty lads, at the very best maybe four of them will make a career in football and only one or two of them at Millwall. I just find it really interesting watching the different ways these lads deal with things. Some of them have the weirdest outlook on things, their attitude is shocking, so it's a real challenge to try and develop them.

"Naturally I'm biased, I keep a special eye on the Irish lads - it's funny, it's like looking at myself eight years ago. The link's still strong between the club and Ireland, especially Belvedere where I came from, the academy staff over here can't speak highly enough of them.

"A couple of the Irish lads are doing really well now, making a breakthrough. Barry Cogan, from Sligo, could be involved in the final, there are a few here who reckon he's the next big thing at this club. And Mark Quigley, a year younger than Barry, a centre forward, a smashing player."

Speaking of the FA Cup final. "Any word on Roy Keane playing?" he asks. Speaking of the divil . . . the return, what did you think?

"I wasn't surprised, to be honest. I thought it was brilliant news and I can't understand the logic of anyone who says that Roy Keane, out of principle, shouldn't be selected for Ireland - I don't think we're such a talented nation that we can afford to turn down one of the best footballers in Europe because he clashed with the previous manager. Whatever happened it's water under the bridge, that manager's gone, he's moved on, Roy's moved on, so everyone else should move on. Football's about winning and Roy's a winner, that's it. It's fantastic to have him back."

And, Sadlier admits, if Keane is fit it's unlikely that he'll be collecting a loser's medal this afternoon.

"To be honest how the game goes is completely up to Man United. Of course there's the danger for them that they'll think they just have to show up to win it, but it would be the biggest upset ever if they were beaten. The way we finished the season we were struggling to score against average first division sides, you just can't even compare the two sets of the players.

"Dennis Wise (Millwall's player-manager) has done brilliantly but the few weeks after the Sunderland semi-final have been incredibly frustrating for him. Everyone seemed to take their eye off promotion completely, it's a shame because the whole thing went arse-ways, we only won one of our last eight games. People tip-toeing through games for fear they'll miss out on the final - it was horrible to watch, but you can understand why lads do it, this will be the biggest day they'll ever have."

And Sadlier intends making a day of it too.

"Without being harsh to anyone, Millwall aren't going to be in an FA Cup final again in my lifetime, so I want to enjoy it. I'm not doing any commentating because the day's such a one-off I'd rather just go with my mates and enjoy it, rather than having to wear a suit, watch my language and stay sober."

And answer: 'do you wish you were out there, Richard?'

"Oh God, yeah. Jesus, wouldn't we all like to be out there?"

January 1979: Born in Ballinteer, Dublin.

Schoolboy clubs: Broadford Rovers, Leicester Celtic, Belvedere.

August 1996: Signed for Millwall from Belvedere.

February 1997: Debut for Millwall against Bristol City, went on to make 10 appearances in his first season.

1997-1998: Various injuries and a hernia operation restricted him to appearing in just five games.

1998-2002: His most successful, injury-free spell with Millwall, making 142 appearances over four seasons, scoring 17 goals in the 2001-2002 campaign.

April 1999: Partnered Robbie Keane in attack at the World Youth Cup in Nigeria.

February 2002: Senior Irish debut against Russia at Lansdowne Road.

April 2002: Had his first hip operation, ending his hopes of selection for the World Cup.

October 2002: Second hip operation. Played just five times for Millwall in 2002-2003 - a recurrence of his hip problem (in March 2003) ended his season.

August 2003: Made his comeback against Crewe.

September 2003: Announced his retirement.

May 2004: Appointed member of coaching staff at Millwall.

Club career: Millwall, 1996-2003 (165 appearances, 41 goals).

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times