Perhaps the most surprising thing about the outrage that greeted the admission of the organisers of the Sydney Olympics last week that they had misled the Australian public about the distribution of tickets for the Games was that anyone was surprised in the first place.
Expecting higher ethical standards from the organisers of anything with the Olympic trademark stamped on it is, surely, just a tad naive. SOCOG, the Sydney Organising Committee for the Olympic Games, conceded that they hadn't been entirely truthful about the number (or quality) of tickets made available through a public ballot held earlier this year, when Australians were duped in to thinking they had as good a chance of anyone of securing entry to the blue-ribbon events (like the athletics 100 metres final), only to receive tickets in the post for taekwondo, synchronised swimming and fencing.
"You are suckers, absolute suckers. We'll keep the best tickets for our mates and all you peasants think you're going to get the tickets you want but you aren't - you're only getting tickets for the events that aren't supported," was how an angry Ron Clarke, an Australian athletics great of bygone years, summed up the attitude of the organisers to the ballot.
But they're no fools, these SOCOG people. Despite knowing that those applying for tickets through the public ballot hadn't a cat in hell's chance of getting tickets for the most popular and most expensive events - most of which have been safely put aside for sponsors, International Olympic Committee officials and their pals and buyers of premium packages - they invited them to apply and pay for them anyway.
"Ticket applicants will be asked to provide full payment for their first-choice ticket package with their mail order form. The value of this package must be greater than the value of either their second or third-choice ticket package. Those who fail to get any tickets or their desired tickets will be provided several choices: a full refund, new options based on those tickets left over after the ticket lottery, and/or mail order forms for Olympic cultural events and Paralympic Games tickets," the Australian public was advised before entering the ballot.
The oldest trick in the book, of course, similar to the one occasionally used by ticket agencies in these parts who ask you to pay for concert tickets months in advance and then, with huge regret, announce the concert has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances (eg the band were booked to play in Tokyo on the same night two years ago). The nice thing on these occasions is that at least the gutted ticket agencies have the interest from the ticket sales to help cheer them up.
SOCOG had the same consolation when they were at least able to post Michael Johnson fans those synchronised swimming tickets. Better than nothing. (Debatable?).
In all, 400 out of 10,800 Grade A seats were made available in the ballot for the basketball finals, 151 out of 8,500 for the gymnastics event and 16 out of 9,400 for the men's diving finals. On examining these figures politician Kerry Chikarowski was left to conclude that "I think it's fair to say that most Australians probably had as good a chance of getting tickets to the Games as they did of competing in Olympic finals."
Australia's consumer watchdog is now investigating the whole affair and considering whether SOCOG contravened sections of the Trade Practices Act which deal with `misleading and deceptive business.' If SOCOG is found guilty they could be fined . . . wait for it . . . up to 130,000 US dollars, a prospect that must have them shivering in their boots. As Jeremy Paxman asked Bill Gates the other week, "if you saw a $100 on the pavement would you bother picking it up?" Considering the earning capacity of the Sydney Olympics, one suspects SOCOG wouldn't waste energy on bending down to retrieve a $130,000 bill.
To their credit, though, they announced - as a generous gesture to Australian sporting fans - that five Olympic events would be "available for free viewing". Yes, completely free. Which events? "The marathon, triathlon, road cycling, sailing and racewalk events."
Yes, the cynical among you will point out that it would be a little tricky to cordon off the courses used for these events and, hence, tricky to charge people in to see them but SOCOG at least resisted the temptation of trying and for that the Australian public will surely be grateful.
But if the same people really want a chance of getting tickets to the top events, their best hope is to book through a foreign travel agency (just check the Sydney Olympics official internet site - all details supplied).
Cartan Tours, for example, is the authorised travel company for the Games and the United States Olympic Committee and is "responsible for the exclusive sale of Olympic event tickets to the general American public." They have tickets available for ANY event you name. You want to see Michael Johnson in action? No problem. For a price, of course, and a big one at that (up to $15,890 for a 20-day stay, excluding tickets - but Cartan, "as the exclusive US ticket sales agent, has had a good success rate in fulfilling ticket requests for previous Olympic Games." Bet they do).
The people's Games, eh? Indeed.
