"I played 71 holes very well. Can I go out and play the last one again now? Next time I'll play the wedge . . . I promise."
- Jean Van de Velde after the British Open at Carnoustie.
"Whenever we lose, I call home and tell the wife to park the car in the next-door neighbours."
- Pakistan captain Wasim Akram whose house is stoned whenever the team loses.
"If I win this trophy (the US Open) then I will buy two others so we all get one."
- Goran Ivanesevic on his supposed multiple personalities.
"Whatever you say about Mike Tyson, at least in between biting ears and going to jail, he came to the ring and fought. This made me want to puke. It shamed boxing. Naseem is just a silly little prick. He should stick to dancing."
- Bob Arum, the promoter of Cesar Soto who fought Naseem in that contest.
"You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half decent brains. Some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. What you sow you reap. You have to look at things that happened in your life and ask why."
- Glenn Hoddle utters the words that forced him to resign as England manager.
"I'm inconsolable. I was a very good friend of Jordan - he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen."
- Mariah Carey on being told of the death of King Hussein of Jordan.
"Referees should be wired up with a couple of electrodes and they should be allowed to make three mistakes before you run 50,000 volts through their genitals."
- Aston Villa manager John Gregory.
"I want someone a little younger than that. She's what I call a pitching wedge. She looks good from about 150 yards."
- Pete Sampras on Andre Agassi's relationship with Barbra Streisand.
"It doesn't matter if they are ladies, men or alsatian dogs. If they are not good enough to run the line, then they should not get the job."
- Gordon Strachan after assistant referee Wendy Toms did not flag for an offside.
"I've played my last match, scored my last goal and elbowed my last opponent."
- Blackburn's Martin Dahlin announces his retirement.
