Manchester Utd 1 Birmingham City 0:Thanks to Carlos Tevez, English football might be about to go through a craze of footballers celebrating goals by producing props from inside their shorts. Tevez had a baby's dummy concealed and popped it into his mouth after scoring in the game's decisive moment, so what next? A mouth organ, perhaps? A cigar? Or maybe a pillowcase would be more appropriate given Alex Ferguson's caustic remarks about the subdued Manchester United crowd.
Tevez finished the afternoon being carried down the tunnel with a badly swollen ankle but it was his celebration - as well as Ferguson's criticism of the supporters - that will linger in the memory after his 10th goal of the season set United on the way to this straightforward victory.
It was an extraordinary moment on an otherwise ordinary day for Manchester United, faced by a Birmingham side with neither the gumption nor the wit to come close to denying the champions a 10th successive league win on their own ground.
Birmingham have not scored at Old Trafford since 1981 and the narrow margin of victory did not disguise the imbalance of talent between the two sides. United were not at their best but, then again, they did not really need to be - as is so often the case in this lopsided league.
Tevez's goal was dedicated to his daughter, Florencia, and the pink dummy nearly came out again after a first-half header that came back off a post and, just before the hour, when he struck the woodwork for a second time.
By that stage the game had taken on a pattern that, almost without exception, can be guaranteed when any club from the lower reaches of the Premier League visits Old Trafford - one side driving forward, the other wearing the expressions of men hoping to be spared a thrashing.
The visitors managed that but it is also fair to say that until the last 10 minutes they were one of the least adventurous teams to visit Old Trafford this season, and that they were fortunate to come up against Ferguson's team on a flat day, with Wayne Rooney still missing because of a virus, Ryan Giggs given the afternoon off and Cristiano Ronaldo, impressive as he was, not having one of his exceptional days.
Ferguson was right to complain the crowd were quiet, but it is easy to understand why the supporters were struggling to find their voice.
"It was a careless performance," said the United boss. "Our finishing was shoddy and by being as careless as as we did, we could have been embarrassed."
The only moment of genuine class, by Ferguson's own admission, came in the 25th minute. Rio Ferdinand played the ball forwards to Tevez, who laid it off to Ronaldo and immediately darted toward the penalty area. Ronaldo's back-heel was exquisite and, suddenly, Tevez was clear, bearing down on goal. The Argentinian waited for the goalkeeper, Maik Taylor, to commit himself before rolling the ball into the net for his 10th goal of the season.
"It was a marvellous goal and I think Carlos will go on to get 20 now," said the Scot, celebrating his 66th birthday yesterday.
"Once we're over the new year period, we can have a look at where we are. But effectively, the season starts now and it could be nip and tuck right to the end."
Birmingham had felt aggrieved play was not stopped because of an injury to Cameron Jerome, but the home side were within their rights to take advantage.
Alex McLeish, Birmingham's new manager, summed up the rest of the game deliciously when he compared the two sides to "a water pistol against a machine gun".
He was less accurate, however, when he declared Birmingham had created as many opportunities as any other side visiting Old Trafford this season.
The truth was somewhat different.
Tomasz Kuszczak, deputising for the injured Edwin van der Sar, is far from infallible, but Birmingham did not even threaten to expose the United goalkeeper until the lively Mikael Forssell came off the bench midway through the second half.