His surname is Dutch for 'tree trunk' and, indeed, over the past few weeks we have seen him left rooted to the spot by Ariel Ortega, Gabriel Batistuta and Ronaldo (in the World Cup), Nicolas Anelka (in the Charity Shield) and Emile Heskey in his Premiership debut against Leicester yesterday (pictured above in race for possession with Muzzi Izzet).

"Just because he cost us £10.75 million doesn't guarantee he's any good," Alex Ferguson hasn't yet said, but he's come close a few times. United fans comfort themselves in the knowledge that Ferguson has rarely made mistakes on the transfer market, but maybe they've forgotten Jim Leighton, Mal Donaghy, Ralph Milne, Mike Phelan, Neil Webb, Danny Wallace, Paul Parker, Jordi Cruyff, Karel Poborsky and Teddy Sheringham.