REMEMBER CARLOS Valderrama, the big-haired Colombian midfielder? Well, it's good to hear he's loving every minute of the action in South Africa.

"This World Cup has been very bad. A disaster. Football-wise, there is nothing new. Bad matches and few goals. The teams play bad, they are very defensive, there is not a single player who breaks the monotony."

The coaches?

"They are afraid to lose. They are putting football into a hole. We only see defensive teams, who play all in the same system."

And with that he drifted off to sleep.