BOB CASEY'S DIARY:Disappointingly, London Irish didn't get a bonus point in defeat to the Ospreys, but, instead of sulking, I examined our flaws in more detail

I DROVE back to London on Friday night. With me was a car full of sleeping beauties – Topsi Ojo, David Paice and our girlfriends – so I didn’t want to disturb them with any music or loose talk. It meant I had three hours in my own head to replay what had just happened.

When you get older your perspective on a defeat changes. As a whippersnapper I would have been more selfish. The thinking used to be – we lost but I dominated the lineout so it was someone else’s fault.

That doesn’t cut it anymore.

I was devastated we didn’t get a bonus point, but instead of sulking I examined our flaws in more detail.

There is no point looking to blame individuals. Sure, if not for Elvis Seveali’i’s moment of madness when he missed touch (I don’t think I’ve ever seen him kick a ball in training!) we might have got the bonus, but if a team cannot lose as a team then they have no hope of learning the really valuable lessons once the pain of defeat is digested. Elvis has delivered for us countless times and he will again.

With that attitude adopted, I found it disappointing to hear Brendan Venter’s comments after Saracens were beaten by Leinster. I would have loved him to come out and say the breakdown was an issue for both teams; Saracens threw the kitchen sink at them but the 2009 champions soaked it all up. Fair play, Leinster.

I have a lot of time for Brendan – he and Conor O’Shea brought me to London Irish – but I felt he could have given more credit to Leinster’s ability to play the referee and their Heineken Cup experience, rather than proclaiming that “rugby is going to die” if the rules continue to be interpreted in this manner in Europe.

Granted, it is a massive issue and Brendan made a decent point about different refereeing styles (the November internationals may get a little frustrating), but because he exaggerated it so much he lost impact.

Both teams would have figured out how the referee was going about his business within 10 minutes. They would also have studied him beforehand.

It is true the game is being refereed differently in the Premiership and Europe. But the really good teams will always adapt. People are too quick to blame referees. Christophe Berdos blew for the same infringements from minute 1 to 80.

Our coach Toby Booth was quite philosophical after defeat to the Ospreys. Basically, we can’t expect to win with so many mistakes and poor execution of skills.

It would have been nice if Brendan said something similar. I understand he adopts the siege mentality for the benefit of internal unity and he is an inspirational man, but the blinkers appear to be on. He admitted recently his emotions sometimes get the better of him.

Saracens never looked like scoring another try. Their wide, wide game was meat and drink to Leinster.

Sarries showed their naivety when it came to someone dropping into the pocket for a late drop goal. I can’t imagine Jonny Sexton or Ronan O’Gara not having the intelligence to put themselves in that position.

It also takes courage to stand up and win or lose it for your team.

So, driving down the silent motorway, I stepped away from the emotional, knee-jerk reaction to our defeat.

The most disappointing aspect was we never really fired off any decent shots. To win on the road in Europe requires rock-solid defence and taking the few chances that come along.

Munster and Leinster took their chances over the weekend. So did the Ospreys. We, unfortunately, and Saracens did not.

What did us in was overcommitting numbers to the breakdown in defence and not enough numbers when we attacked. We tried to run back at them too much, got isolated and turned over.

The Ospreys deserved it. We must learn from it and plough on.

At London Irish, we are striving for consistency from everyone in the squad.

The Heineken Cup is about control.

We didn’t have much ball against Munster a week ago, but we felt we had control for large periods.

If there are two or three dips in performance you can still beat lower Magners League and Premiership teams, but in Europe you don’t have a chance. Guys like Shane Williams are around every corner to punish you with some magic.

Weaknesses that are not apparent in domestic competition become glaringly obvious in Europe. Our kicking game in comparison to the booming accuracy of Lee Byrne and James Hook is such an example.

This is a desperately tough pool. I can’t decide who the better team is between Munster and the Ospreys. Suppose we’ll let them sort that out amongst themselves.

After Friday, we were given three days off so I went home for the official unveiling of mum and dad’s new conservatory.

The mother obviously feels we haven’t been around enough as an entire family because a professional snapper was in to do some portraits. There were 16 of us for what turned into a full-scale reunion with a bouncing castle out the back for the nieces, nephews and, well, me.

I know I was supposed to be resting up, but it was great fun messing with the little ones.

A good, and rare, weekend with the Caseys.

Back on the treadmill this week with Exeter “Exiles” up next.