Cut in half. File till sharp. Throw. While Mark Viduka and his Australia team-mates were devising tactics, match-ups and formations before their 2001 World Cup qualifier against Uruguay, the home supporters were equally busy making preparations of their own.
Hired goons were dispatched to Montevideo's Carassco airport to greet the Australians with torrents of abuse and volleys of spit. Others were sent to the Socceroos' hotel armed with drums and, if the volume and consistency of their yelling was any guide, throat lozenges. Others, still, discussed tactics for match day. And if they were talking 3-5-2, it referred only to the centesimos they were cutting, filing and preparing to throw at the Australian players from the stands throughout the match.
In the end, their persistence more than paid off. Overwhelmed, underprepared and unnerved to the point that travelling members of the Australian Federal Police were called in for protection, Viduka and the Socceroos were defeated 3-0 to lose the play-off 3-1 on aggregate and denied a World Cup berth at the final hurdle for the second time in four years.
Tonight at the same Estadio Centenario the Socceroos return to Montevideo with sights firmly set on entry to Germany next year. They return wiser to this first leg for the experience of 2001, chartering flights, pre-arranging security and devising a VIP passage to the stadium this time around. They return intent on revenge by securing a place in the finals after the second leg in Sydney on Wednesday.
In many ways, this match represents the end of a long and, to date, unfulfilling quest for Viduka, recently named Australia's captain. Having gone close in 2001 and even closer in 1997 - when the Terry Venables-managed Socceroos conceded two late goals to Iran at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, drew 2-2 and lost the tie on away goals - Viduka is still without a World Cup finals appearance on his resume and his country still without representation at football's premier competition since their only appearance, in West Germany back in 1974.
Clearly, he is hardly short on motivation, heightened further by the fact that his season with Middlesbrough has hardly gone to plan thus far. Viduka is well aware that success after 90 minutes tonight and on Wednesday could alleviate all the personal frustration built up on Teesside, describing the intercontinental play-offs as "the two most important games of my career". Equally, failure in a hat-trick of play-offs would compound it.
"Sometimes you think, 'How many more times am I going to have to go through this? Will I be physically able to do it again?' So, obviously, it does mean a lot," Viduka said. "A lot of the other players are in the same boat. I think we all would have loved to have made it four years ago, and because we didn't it makes this occasion extra significant."
When discussing his commitments for Australia and the clash with Uruguay, Viduka is an engaging, entertaining subject. But that chipper mood all but vanishes when talk turns to Middlesbrough, the club he joined from Leeds last year for £4.5 million.
Much was expected of the enigmatic striker on his arrival at the Riverside, but injuries and inconsistency have relegated him to the bench for a large portion of this season. In Boro's stunning 4-1 win over Manchester United a fortnight ago, Viduka was a spectator. He rebounded strongly to score twice in last week's Uefa Cup game against Dnipro and, though Steve McClaren praised his efforts, it seems the damage may already have been done.
"Obviously, I would like to play and be involved in more games," Viduka said, his frustration evident. "I didn't know at the time (of the move from Leeds) the way it was going to pan out. Football is difficult to predict that way. Let's just talk about the game for Australia." But is Viduka happy at Middlesbrough? "Stop fishing," he replied tersely.
At least Viduka's relationship with Australia's new manager, PSV Eindhoven's Guus Hiddink, seems positive. Since arriving at the Socceroos' training camp in Buenos Aires, across the River Plate from Montevideo, the Australia captain has appeared in a jocular, though determined mood. The team is, by Viduka's own admission, physically and strategically superior to the team that last confronted the Uruguayans.
"Everybody is very clear what their job is," he said. "Every day, you're totally on the edge and motivated to do well. I think it has been great to get someone like Guus involved in the national team. He'll get the best out of everyone."
The Dutchman took the joint hosts South Korea to the semi-finals in 2002 and Viduka points out: "Guus has unbelievable experience and knowledge about the game. There's plenty of advice there. In this game, you're always learning. He's been around World Cups before and he knows what it takes to get there."
Whereas before Viduka could sign off on World Cup qualifying defeats with a tear, a shrug and a maybe-next-time outlook, he is well aware that, at the age of 30, he will never have a better opportunity to make things right - to exact revenge on Uruguay, ensure his country's place in Germany next summer and, in so doing, prove a point to the Middlesbrough management.
That attitude goes some way to explaining Viduka's response to a recent statement from his national federation's chief executive, John O'Neill, who caused outrage in Australia's South American community by implying that the Uruguayan federation had organised the crowd abuse in 2001. O'Neill also threatened to pull his players off the pitch tonight if there is any repeat and has argued with the Uruguayans over the kick-off time, finally fixed at 6pm local time (8pm Irish time).
"Walk off?" inquired Viduka, stunned and dismayed to learn of O'Neill's statement. "No. We are ready to go. They can throw whatever they want at us. They can throw the kitchen sink, if it makes them happy." Viduka knows all about the strikers Uruguay will throw at them. Villarreal's Diego Forlan, formerly with Manchester United, is almost certainly out with a hamstring injury but Portsmouth's Dario Silva, who scored against Australia in 2001, and Richard Morales, who hit two goals as a substitute, are set to start.
