Anything Football

http://www.balaammarketing.demon.co.uk/football-page.html

Only 81 shopping days to Christmas and you just can't decide what to buy for that special Finn Harps fan in your life. Look no further than the `Anything Football' website, where you can order a hand-painted personalised football gnome in the colours of Ballybofey's finest (or any other team on the planet for that matter).

"Designed to your specifications, you can have any team you want, the kit (home/away/classic) and any personalisations such as skin/hair colour, names and numbers. Anything that can be done within the limitations of a paint brush will be done for you," they promise. The Gnomes, we are told, stand 10.5 inches high and are hand cast from a naturally produced cement (important, that - it sets quicker and harder than ordinary cement and also has "a much finer finish" . . . than, say, Karl Heinz-Riedle). The Gnomes are mounted on felt and lacquered "to ensure their lasting good looks" - the price, for Republic of Ireland gnome-lovers? £33.64 - including postage and packing.

Also for sale on the site are a range of "That Match" T-shirts which feature newspaper headlines and an image of the programme and match ticket from a famous victory by a string of clubs (including Celtic's European Cup win over Inter Milan in 1967, em . . . Charlton Athletic's 7-6 victory over Huddersfield Town in 1957 and Cardiff City's most recent glorious moment: their 1927 FA Cup triumph over Arsenal).