www.damienduff.com

Planet Football received an email last week suggesting we have a look at www.damienduff.com, dedicated to "the Irish Michael Owen (and) Ryan Giggs".

"With Ireland's participation in the next World Cup a forgone conclusion," it said, "Damien is about to take the competition by storm. The full site will be launched with a wave of national and international publicity, in correspondence with Ireland's participation in the play-offs in November.

"There is still some advertising space left on the site but, I stress, blocks are selling fast, with clothing, sportswear, multimedia companies, insurance and sporting organisations. Yours sincerely, everybody at DamienDuff.com."

Hmm. But we had a look anyway. Under "News" it read: "In this column I'll include any breaking news on my favourite star, including upcoming movies, planned talk show appearances, box office figures, and so on". Eh? Under "The formative years": "On this page I'll describe my star's life and career: the successes and failures, the joys and sorrows. I may also use this page to talk about my personal feelings about this star's career. Do I think the star's early childhood history had an impact on the type of role this star took on later? Do I feel this star made some terrible career or life decisions?" Don't look at us, we haven't a notion either. Coming to a cinema near you - Damo Duff?