England v Colombia Jim Rosenthal: "Ron, nice to see you again. Now, what was it you were saying about England beating Romania `easy'?" Ron Atkinson: "I am humbled Jim, truly humbled. Tell you what Jim, I've learned my lesson - from this day forward I will have the utmost respect for England's opponents."

Jim: "So how do you rate Colombia then, England's next opponents?"

Ron: "Shower of coke sniffers, aren't they Jim? I'll be surprised if they even turn up Friday - they're not fit to grace the same pitch as England. It'll be a cakewalk, trust me."

Des Lynam: "So Glenn, is it all gloom and doom in the England camp?"

Glenn Hoddle: "No Des, in fact we're feeling very positive."

Des: "Why?"

Glenn: "Because we know if we hadn't conceded those two goals we would have beaten Romania and we would have been through to the second round where we would have played Croatia, who we would also have beaten, and then we would have been feeling on top of the world and would have felt capable of beating anyone and we would have been feeling very positive and probably would have gone on to win the World Cup, Des."

Des: "But you DID concede those two goals to Romania."

Glenn: "That's it, I've had enough of this negativity - I'm off."

Spain v Bulgaria

Brian Moore: "What a superb comeback this is by Spain, just six minutes to go and they've drawn level."

Kevin Keegan: "Yes Brian, and when a game goes like this, there's only one team that'll win it and that's . . .".

Brian: "Don't even think about finishing that sentence Kevin."

Kevin: "Right."

By Mary Hannigan

Managerial spice

England coach Glenn Hoddle, obviously feeling the pressure after Monday night's defeat to Romania and a prospective second round meeting with Argentina, bit back yesterday, lashing out at Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson and his criticism of Hoddle's handling of David Beckham.

Ferguson, an ITV pundit and a Sunday Times columnist, made it known that he felt Hoddle was wrong to prefer Darren Anderton to Beckham, while he also criticised the England coach's handling of the situation when he allowed Beckham to make a public show of his disappointment. Hoddle got off the fence yesterday, launching a stinging attack on Ferguson in an interview with BBC television. Hoddle suggested Ferguson's criticism was "unprofessional" and went on to suggest that United had a hand in Beckham's demise.

"Everyone is different, but I would never put that sort of pressure on Alex Ferguson before a big European game he was preparing for.

"David wasn't as focussed as he should have been coming into this World Cup," added Hoddle. "Perhaps Manchester United should have been more concerned with that."

Watch this space for further instalments.

Quote of the day

"I wasn't hired to run a holiday camp. I already know where I am headed - either an English club or an African national team."

- South Africa coach Philippe Troussier makes it clear where he won't be after France 98