You're not, we'd hazard a guess, going to believe this. Or maybe you will. Last week the London Evening Standard informed us that Manchester United have launched the official MUFC Maths Workbook for 7 to 11-year-olds. In it small people are taught basic maths through sums related to . . . Manchester United merchandise. "Sarah and her friends visit the Manchester United megastore" is the heading on page 12, which sets this tricky problem: "Jordan has £30 to spend - if he buys a pair of shorts, has he enough money left for a keyring and a programme?" And "what change from £50 will Leanne get if she buys a shirt and a cap?" Naturally a fully-priced merchandise catalogue is provided. Truly, it's the end of the world as we know it.