ALL IN THE GAME:A soccer miscellany

HATS off to Wolves for thinking of their female supporters by introducing a new clothing range on their online store.

Among the female-friendly items included is a black and gold "power mesh suspender belt", "satin French knickers in gold, featuring the Wolves crest", an "underwired gold bra with black lace detail featuring the Wolves crest" and a black thong, featuring – you've guessed it – the Wolves crest.

Crikey, next thing they'll be selling that Female Eunuchbook – with the Wolves crest on the cover.

Houllier comes clean: Former Liverpool manager finds time to explain himself

WORD OF MOUTH 1

After my illness some of my signings were not good enough. I didn't have time to check.

– Gerard Houllier reflecting on his time as Liverpool manager. And being a touch more honest than was, possibly, wise.

"I feel like Jesus. When I bought Lazio, I did like Jesus and drove the merchants from the temple."

– President Claudio Lotito on his divine intervention at the Roman club.

For me, Arsenal is a football training centre. You watch the match, you enjoy it, but are you going to win a title afterwards? We can lose against them, but at the end of the day, what is there for Arsenal? There are no trophies, there is nothing.

– You have to assume Arsene Wenger will give Patrice Evra's thoughts a mention in his pre-match speech tonight at.

"Some of them are showing themselves to be bad losers . . . I really sense in some reactions a bit of the arrogance of the western world of Christian background. Some simply can't bear it if others get a chance for a change."

– Fifa president Sepp Blatter offering an olive branch to England after that World Cup bid lark.

"Obviously, the English are disappointed . . . but I said that, in 2012, there will be the Olympics in London. I'm Italian and we don't have the Olympics, the World Cup or anything. We don't have anything."

– Chelsea coach Carlo Ancelotti advises England to be grateful for what it has and get over the disappointment.

Blazer blazes a trail: Russian PM adds to the experience

THE magnificently monikered Chuck Blazer, the United States' Fifa representative, confirmed last week he did indeed give Russia his 2018 World Cup-hosting vote, insisting his decision was swayed only by the possibility of a new football market opening up.

And it's a market he is very much looking forward to revisiting, judging by an entry in his "Travels with Chuck Blazer and his Friends" blog, the American reflecting fondly on his trip to Moscow in August when he was granted an audience with none other than prime minister Vladimir Putin.

"A very special experience," he wrote. "He looked at me with a very serious gaze and said, without cracking a smile, 'You know, you look like Karl Marx!' I simply winked at him and said, 'I know'. This brought an immediate response with him lifting his right arm up in the air and thrusting it forward to give me my first High-5 from a prime minister. I can tell you that this began a half-hour exchange of wit, charm and effective communications."

No flies on Putin, after high-fiving Chuck he proceeded to ask him about his blog, offering to send him photos of his holiday in the wilds of Russia for inclusion on the site. Chuck was stunned by the generosity of this gesture, posting all 20 images of Putin hanging out with miscellaneous animals – including one of a polar bear who looked a bit on the dead side. And another of him lovingly pouring milk down the throat of a Bambi-like creature.

11

The number of men who've had a go at managing Newcastle since 2000 (Bobby Robson, John Carver, Graeme Souness, Glenn Roeder, Nigel Pearson, Sam Allardyce, Kevin Keegan, Joe Kinnear, Alan Shearer, Chris Hughton and Alan Pardew). As stable as the banking system.

Despite ITV 's best efforts: Bates sounds wrong note

BELATED thanks to ITV for helping educate its viewers about the correct pronunciation of new World Cup destination, Qatar.

"Remember," reporter Bill Neely told us, "it's not guitar (cue picture of a guitar on the screen), it's not gutter (cue picture of a gutter on the screen), it's Qatar (cue map of Qatar on the screen)."

Alas, Leeds United chairman Ken Bates must have missed the item.

"Qatar? I always think someone is clearing their throat when they say that," he told us last week.

ITV? Run that piece again.

CANTONA'S CALL UNHEEDED

A COUPLE of weeks back we mentioned Eric Cantona's call for the people of France to bring down the banks by taking part in a coordinated withdrawal of their loot. Well, December 7th was the day – how'd it go?

Over to you AP: "About a dozen people marched in costumes in Paris and withdrew money from a branch of Societe Generale."

Mon Dieu.

PUNDIT OF THE WEEK

Kenny Sansom (as heard by Football 365)

“I don’t give a monkey’s about statistics. I reckon whenever a team has a greater percentage of possession, about 70 per cent of the time they don’t win.”

Shearer strikes a nonsensical tone: Nothing black or white in Alan’s world

Newcastle nuance: Pardew about a popular as Iron Lady

YOU'D imagine that win over Liverpool will have helped, but it would be fair to say that Alan Pardew's appointment as Newcastle manager proved less than popular in Geordie land.

How many votes did he receive in the Evening Chronicle's poll asking fans who they wanted to succeed Chris Hughton? 14 – which was less than two per cent of those polled. (The UK Independent, rather naughtily, suggested those 14 votes came from Sunderland fans).

How did England's Ashes' hero and Newcastle fan Graeme Swann feel about it?

"I think Alan Pardew may be about as popular an appointment as Margaret Thatcher as president of the coal miners association," he tweeted.

Best of luck, Alan.

WORD OF MOUTH II

"Nothing's black or white in our country – you're either brilliant or you're hopeless."

– Alan Shearer. Genius.

"I don't want the French in Europe. Marseille are a very strong team – animals, physically speaking. And we all know about Lyon."

– Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola sounds somewhat eager to avoid a French side in the draw for the last 16 of the Champions League.

"We were told that with the wind chill the temperature got down to -27. To play football in those conditions and on that pitch you needed to be Father Christmas."

– Felipe Melo on a rather chilly trip to Poland for Juventus, their draw with Lech Poznan putting them out of the Europa League.

"One mate was coming over from America and it was going to be his first game of football, or soccer as they call it. Unfortunately we had to take him to Wigan instead."

– Blackpool manager Ian Holloway, possibly meaning no offence to Wigan, after the game against Manchester United was postponed.

"In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony (Pulis) uses in his cake is Rory Delap's throw. Call that cinnamon and he's got a cinnamon flavoured cake."

– Holloway again on Stoke's recipe for success. Mind you, Blackpool had their cake and ate it at the Britannia Stadium on Saturday.