All the action yesterday in Dublin and London was happening ditch-side.
Perched on top of the Dáil ditch were plenty of mouthy Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil hurlers, roaring at each other over electronic voting.
And look, who was there in the middle of another ditch - only a British prime minister slowly expiring because Britain is not going to leave the European Union by October 31st.
Of course, when you looked more closely you could see that with Boris Johnson it was all fake blood. We saw just another performance by the tousled one. Clutch your side. Groan. Deliver an operatic aria. Die. And then take a bow and the plaudits of your public school supporters.
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It must be a record year for The Irish Times leading with a political story from the UK parliament, but, like all the others, the scale and drama of this story justifies it. After another dramatic day in Westminster yesterday, Boris Johnson conceded he would have to talk to EU leaders about an extension to Brexit.
But this was no defeat for him. He did what Theresa May could not do. He got his withdrawal Bill through parliament with a really impressive majority of 30. He lost on the second vote, however - his proposal to rush it through in three days.
As Denis Staunton notes: "Johnson confounded expectations by finding that majority without the votes of the DUP, whose support had long been seen as crucial to winning over hardline Conservative Brexiteers. The self-styled Spartans folded last Saturday when they swallowed their remaining scruples and declared their support for the deal.
“On Tuesday, Johnson won over two more groups: 19 Labour MPs and most of the 21 former Conservatives who lost the whip over their opposition to a no-deal Brexit.”
You never cease to be amazed at the flexibility of politicians.
So where does it leave us?
The Tory Brexiteers have been like circus contortionists, with a spectacular U-turn on Brexit and mercilessly abandoning the DUP. The Benn Act - which prevents a No-Deal Brexit - essentially coerced Johnson to write a letter to Donald Tusk seeking an extension. But a bit like De Valera’s empty formula on the oath, Johnson refused to sign it. It made no difference; Tusk is likely to recommend a three-month extension.
Commentators will have to give Johnson a bit more credit for his political skills. He spent the first few months of his premiership being lampooned for ham-fisted mistakes. Like a 1500-metre runner with a kick, he has had a sprint finish that almost brought him over the line.
The chances of an election in Britain have increased, although under that country’s fixed-term parliament, Jeremy Corbyn and Labour must agree to hold one. I’m not sure it is going to happen; if it does, it will be November.
To me, the prospects of an election over here recedes if that is the case. But then there are many in Fine Gael who are pushing Leo Varadkar hard to hold one.
Votegate - the latest video game
If there is an illustration of that election pressure, what better than the tit-for-tat war between Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil that has become a proxy for an election campaign.
It all began with a serious incident: two Fianna Fáil TDs entering a voting arrangement when one was absent from the Dáil. Why was there a need for it? None of the votes were tight, and nothing turned on it.
The upshot, though, is serious. The Constitution requires TDs to be “present and voting’. The matter that arose where one TD voted on behalf of another who was absent is, as Ceann Comhairle Seán O Fearghaíl said yesterday, “a very serious situation which required urgent action”.
We have extensive coverage of it today. Jennifer Bray reports Niall Collins and Timmy Dooley could face sanctions including a 30-day suspension, after Fine Gael TD Noel Rock made a complaint under ethics legislation to the Committee on Members’ Interests, chaired by Hildegarde Naughton.
As both sides pored over days of video footage to find voting transgressions on the other side, it's clear tensions between the two sides are growing, with copious outbreaks of skirmishes, a sure-fire prelude to an election.
Marie O'Halloran reports on how the controversy played out in the Dáil yesterday, including the Ceann Comhairle's ruling that members must stay in their seats when voting from now on, and not get a colleague to press the button on their behalf.
Best reads
The voting controversy was a distraction to the most important moments in politics yesterday, and that was the State’s apology to women who suffered as a result of grave errors made in the cervical screening programme.
As always, Miriam Lord was on point with her priorities and her coverage on CervicalCheck.
She was very critical of the absent benches, when the Taoiseach delivered an apology to a gallery packed with women affected by the controversy and their supporters.
Some TDs, she said, were seemingly too busy. “Too busy, perhaps, getting excited over the diverting ‘Votegate’ controversy exercising scheming political minds as deputies obsess over whether or not there will be a general election next month. Too busy sending out tit-for-tat press releases and tweets about who pressed whose voting buttons when they shouldn’t have. Too busy stirring the pot.
“To paraphrase the late Liverpool manager Bill Shankley - some people say politics is a matter of life or death, but it is much, much more important than that,” she writes.
“The chamber was packed on the night the Magdalene women were recognised. For all the sadness, for all those who never got to witness the moment, there was also a feeling of joy and celebration in the air.
“At the end of Taoiseach Kenny’s speech, his voice cracking as he read the final lines, the people in the gallery burst into tearful applause. In the chamber below, TDs on all sides of the chamber rose to their feet and cheered and applauded them.
“This time, there are no relieved smiles in the gallery. There is no sense of a great shadow being lifted.”
After seeing the empty seats in the Dáil, writes Lord, Vicky Phelan said: “I do think that there were fewer politicians in the chamber than we would have liked, to be honest. I think there could have been a few more there. Everybody has a wife, a mother of a daughter, so that was one thing I did notice . . . Those who spoke, they spoke about the things that are important to all of us here.”
The Taoiseach’s speech was well received and emotional. But his use of the word “deceit” to describe the State’s treatment of the women was met with dismay by the health services.
As health editor Paul Cullen writes in his report, health sources said the Taoiseach's use of the word has caused considerable dismay among senior staff, including those in screening services. His admission could make it more difficult for the State to defend future court cases taken by women suing the service, it is claimed.
Michael McDowell has an interesting take on Votegate and uses it as an opportunity to reject distance or proxy voting and fixed-term parliaments.
And here is a background piece on the history and lack of scrutiny of electronic voting in the Dáil.
Fiach Kelly writes Simon Coveney warned Cabinet colleagues about DUP sensitivities over the revised Brexit deal.
Playbook
So no rushed summit next week. Fine Gael’s parliamentary party meets today: we can expect more stuff on Votegate.
In the Dáil Minister for Social Protection Regina Doherty is taking priority questions. The Finance Bill, which gives effect to budgetary changes, is getting its first hearing. There is an Industrial Developments (Amendment) Bill going through all stages.
The Private Members’ motion is from the Labour Party on the National Broadband Plan.
The Seanad will hear tributes to late former senator and supermarket owner Feargal Quinn.
There are statements on the HSE Capital Plan for 2019, which will take in the National Children’s Hospital.
Two Bills are down for debate: the Family Law Bill 2019 and a Private Members’ Bill on assisted decision making and capacity in elderly people and those suffering from debilitating illness.
It’s a busy day for committees.
The Joint Committee on Justice and Equality is resuming its examination of online harassment.
The Health Committee has invited Dr Dónal de Buitléir, who chaired the review group that looked at private activity in public hospitals. It is also getting an update on Sláintecare from Laura Magahy, head of the implementation office.
The Joint Committee on Climate Change is discussing peatlands restoration.
The Joint Committee on Business has an engagement on Brexit with Minister for Business and Enterprise Heather Humphreys.
