Hordes of engineers working around the clock for a century would still be unable to create a computer that could even come close to replicating the devious nature of the Irish public relations consultant. And as the tension mounted this week as to which location would win £15 million worth of computers in the Telecom Eireann Information Age Town contest, the humans came out on top.
Castlebar, Ennis, Kilkenny and Killarney - the four towns that have reached the final stages of the competition - have already given the judges the grand tour, and nervously await the decision due on Wednesday night.
Telecom Eireann insists the final choice has not yet been made.
But once the announcement is made, there will be a frenzy of activity, culminating in a huge Telecom Eireann roadshow on Friday in the winning town.
Such activity, of course, must be planned. Hotel rooms must be booked, function rooms must be reserved, promotional literature must be prepared. And any of these things leave fingerprints.
Irish people, even those living in places with populations into five figures such as the four finalists, tend to know one another's business. When an issue receives the type of non-stop analysis and publicity as the Information Age Town competition, a community can turn itself into a giant radar antenna, constantly scanning the horizon for clues.
By midweek, the news about what reservations and arrangements Telecom Eireann was making had spread like a gorse fire.
But those who celebrated whooped too soon. They had not bargained on Edelman, the PR company hired by Telecom Eireann to co-ordinate the event.
"Um, yes. We have put plans in place in all four towns," admitted Ms Sheila Lynch, the woman in charge.
Four sets of hotel bookings, four sets of public address systems, four conference halls, four roadshows.
But just one winner, so three sets of arrangements will be pulled, sometime on Wednesday evening.
For her part, Ms Lynch pleads that she is not a Princess of Deception, but a victim of secrecy. The judges haven't yet made a decision, she insists, and won't be telling anyone anyway until the last moment.
