And every week our favourite piece of estate agent's guff:

An Oceanic oasis. Breathtaking views over Dalkey Sound capture and enrapture the unsuspecting viewer. A truly exceptional penthouse . . . essential viewing for those seeking an exclusive maritime abode.

Douglas Newman Good's description of a three-bedroom apartment at Pilot View in Dalkey, Co Dublin that is on the market at a breathtaking £580,000.