What's going up and what's going down this week
GOING UP
Lady GaGa(above) Another convent girl made bad. Currently threatened by universal approval.
VampiresScreen-bound teenagers can't put down Stephanie Meyer's Twilight novels and mothers are falling in love with boy vampire Edward Cullen. Still, it's less frightening than all those High School Musicals.
ChippersDoing a roaring trade.
Home worker worriesTime was when you just had to fret about having turned off the kettle, the cooker or the dog. Now you leave home worrying about whether you've left the printer on.
The Little Flower Backon tour just when we need her.
MannersThey make picking up a coffee a whole new pleasure. Smiling is back — come on, it won't kill you.
Hughie O'Donoghue at ImmaPaintings on a scale almost as epic as the yawning chasm of our nation's finances, from which they may briefly distract you.
'Free Agents'Terrifically offensive comedy from Channel 4 with ex-Nescafé ad man Anthony Head and actress Sharon Horgan (sister of rugby man Shane) showing buckets of venom and no morals as agents to the stars. Result.
GOING DOWN
Helicopters– and not just their doors, either. Another once-vital accessory now consigned to history.
DietsWe've enough on our plate, and let's try to keep it that way.
ClampersStill active but perhaps not as ubiquitous as they once were in Dublin. It's an ill wind . . .
Austerity chicWe're not sure what it means ( skirt suits, apparently) but we don't like the sound of it.
The Chelsea HotelHad its cover blown by Kenny Egan, who by now will have had his ears boxed by his mam.