CYBER SORTER:This week our social media agony aunt looks at airing grievances online and causing offence
Dear Cybersorter,
My sister has been having a hard time from a colleague at work and started posting updates to Facebook about it.
This colleague, who is in a superior role to her, has been nasty and is bullying her.
She doesn’t name anyone specifically and says it’s just a great way to vent. She also says it is a good way to build up a case against the company, since the HR person won’t do anything to help.
She is obviously feeling a bit desperate, but is she doing the right thing or not? Her privacy settings are on “Friends Only”.
Name withheld
Your sister probably finds that her Facebook updates are giving her a feeling of control over a situation in which she feels powerless.
Social media can work as a tool for “the little person” to score points against a more powerful entity. However, more times than not the “little person” only damages themselves further by airing their grievance online, even if only to friends.
Her updates may not reflect at all well and could even be turned against her if things come down to a legal situation.
If her workplace has a social media policy, she may be in breach of it. It is best to combat aggressive, unprofessional behaviour by sticking closely to the accepted professional conduct in such situations. Your sister should document the instances of bullying in a completely private diary. She should also make regular, calm, emailed notes to HR outlining the problem and requesting a meeting.
She doesn’t have to put up with the bullying but the half-measure of venting her feelings on Facebook could land her in trouble.
She would do better to use the web to find support resources. Check out imt.ie for a recent feature on bullying in the workplace.
Dear Cybersorter,
I have about 300 Facebook friends. They come from different sectors of my life and therefore hold very different values and views.
In the last two weeks I’ve managed to offend the local friends and some of my more urbane friends with updates.
I need Facebook as an outlet for my many and varied opinions and don’t want to have to censor myself but all the negative comments are taking too much time and doing my head in.
DB
Dear DB,
In the words of George Costanza: “Worlds collide, Jerry!”
The merging of previously compartmentalised friendship groups is one of social media’s biggest etiquette challenges.
When we first started using Facebook and Twitter, only a few of our geeky mates were on it. Now you can’t move out there in cyberspace without bumping rudely into ex-boyfriends, grandmothers and work colleagues.
Your answer is simple, Facebook provides Friends lists for just such problems.
Click on “Account”, “Help” and search “Friends Lists”. The first result tells you how to set up friends lists. Put your different sets of friends in separate lists. Then, when you have a thought or opinion that will challenge those of one of your lists go right ahead and post it for them.
Everyone should be encouraged to question and debate their beliefs, including you.
Social media can work for “the little person” to score points against a more powerful entity . . . but more times than not the “little person” only damages themselves further