The State witness, Charles Bowden, told the Special Criminal Court yesterday he "went to pieces" when gardai showed him photographs of the murdered journalist Veronica Guerin lying shot dead in her car.
An emotional Bowden fought back tears as he said: "When I saw the photos of the girl lying in the car shot I went to pieces. I just couldn't handle it."
Bowden, who is currently in Arbour Hill prison under the Witness Protection Programme, said no deal was made between him and authorities in return for him giving evidence against Mr Paul Ward. He also admitted again that he had loaded the .357 Magnum revolver used to murder Ms Guerin and said he was "absolutely aware" of the role he had played in her death.
Bowden (34), from Finglas, Dublin, a former Irish soldier, is serving a six-year jail sentence for drugs and firearms offences. He has been granted immunity from prosecution for the Guerin murder. He identified Mr Ward as a member of a gang who distributed hundreds of kilos of cannabis in Dublin and said that Ms Guerin had been killed because she "pissed off" the leader of the gang.
Mr Paul "Hippo" Ward (34), from Crumlin, Dublin, with an address at Walkinstown Road, Dublin, has pleaded not guilty to the murder of Ms Guerin (36), at the Naas Road, Clondalkin, Co Dublin, on June 26th, 1996.
The prosecution has claimed Mr Ward was a member of the gang that planned and carried out the killing and disposed of the murder weapon and the motorcycle afterwards.
Cross-examined by defence counsel, Mr Patrick MacEntee SC, yesterday on the 21st day of the trial, Bowden said he had an arrangement with gardai from the start that they would protect his wife and family. He agreed he had been granted immunity from prosecution for the Guerin murder but said he had never negotiated with anyone for that immunity.
"There were absolutely no negotiations between myself and anyone else in relation to giving evidence, none," he said.
Bowden said the first time he found out he was not going to be prosecuted for the Guerin murder was when he appeared in court to plead guilty to drugs and other charges. He said he "pestered" the gardai about whether he would be charged with the murder. "It was a constant worry of mine, but they were only interested in my statements."
When asked by Mr Justice Barr, presiding, if he thought he was in a "grievous" position because he knew about the murder weapon, Mr Bowden replied: "Absolutely. For two reasons. I had made these admissions and had put my wife's and family's life in danger. They did implicate me. I was part of that murder. I was fully aware of the role I had played in that murder, absolutely aware."
Bowden said he had gone into the original questioning with the gardai with one story and with the intention to lie and say nothing. "Then the guards produced the photos of Ms Guerin in the car and all the previous months I had blanked all of this from my mind. Those photos brought the reality of it home to me."
Bowden agreed with Mr MacEntee that Ms Guerin had been brutally murdered and said: "It was unreal. I could detach myself from it and my role in it. When I saw those photos of the girl lying in the car shot I went to pieces. I just couldn't handle it. My wife and my children were going to suffer from my giving this evidence, for me talking to the police. By the same token I wanted to tell the police exactly what my role was."
When asked by Mr Justice Barr why he wanted to tell the police, Mr Bowden replied: "Guilt. The reality of the horror of it. All the time in the cell my brain superimposed Julie's [his wife's] and the children's faces on the photos. I was caught between the fear of telling them and my own desire to clear my conscience. It sounds trite. I just couldn't hold back what I knew. I had to tell them."
Asked about what arrangements he had made with the gardai, Bowden said he had asked to see "the man in charge" and had been brought to see Assistant Commissioner Tony Hickey.
"I explained to him that I wanted to tell all I knew but would they guarantee protection for my wife and children? That's all I asked him for. He said if I made a full statement he would examine it, check it and would protect my family. He would do his best to protect my family."
Questioned by Mr MacEntee about his loading of the gun used to murder Ms Guerin, Mr Bowden replied: "It wasn't clear if they were going to shoot at her or shoot her."
Asked about what he had done on the day of the murder, Bowden said he had gone to the hairdresser's shop he had bought into as a cover for his drugs income and had gone to his local pub that evening to watch an England-Germany football match. He said the accused was in the group at the Hole in the Wall pub along with his girlfriend, Vanessa Meehan, and another named man who cannot be identified by order of the court.
But Bowden then agreed with Mr MacEntee that Mr Ward was not in the pub on the night of the murder, but denied that he was telling lies in the witness-box. Bowden said he then went home and went to bed. He told Mr MacEntee his nextdoor neighbour was a journalist, Mr Senan Molony, but he denied that he had a party at his house on the night of the murder.
Bowden said Mr Molony was wrong if he suggested that there was a party at the Bowden house that night. "There may have been a couple of friends back to have a few drinks, but it wasn't a party. It was a regular occurrence for us to go back to have a few drinks."
Bowden said a named member of the drugs gang had been involved in a fight in the toilets at the pub where they had been drinking and he had tried to break it up, and then the group went to another pub before returning to his house. He denied they had been "celebrating" Ms Guerin's murder but agreed that he had loaded the gun used to murder Ms Guerin.
He had heard over the radio that Ms Guerin had been shot. He said he met two named members of the gang who cannot be identified at Moore Street about 1.30 p.m. that day.
"I knew what was going to happen that morning. I knew Veronica Guerin was going to be shot or shot at, that something was going to happen to her, I don't deny that." He said the two gang members had gestured at him to join them and he joined them in the doorway of a restaurant at the Ilac Centre where they had a conversation. He said he was surprised to see the gang members at Moore Street, "surprised that they had got so quickly from the scene of the crime into town."
He denied a suggestion by Mr MacEntee that the gang members had given him the murder weapon and that he had taken it back to the hairdresser's shop.
Asked to explain how he had felt when shown the photos of Ms Guerin by the gardai, Mr Bowden replied: "I had detached myself from the whole thing from start to finish." He said he did not believe that Ms Guerin was going to be killed but agreed that he had loaded the gun and had left six spare bullets.
Mr MacEntee: "For all you knew she was going to be riddled with bullets?"
Bowden: "No. I didn't know the exact intention of what they were going to do. It sounds very naive that I didn't know she was going to be killed but that is the truth. I didn't think they would be stupid enough to kill a journalist.
"It's one thing to kill a criminal, that's one thing. But to kill a female journalist to get out of going to jail for six months, it didn't make any sense then and it doesn't make any sense now. There was a high probability in my mind that that they were going to shoot her or shoot at her."
Bowden was asked if he agreed that he was pathological and had suffered from a mental disease when he loaded the gun. He replied: "Yes, definitely. Sick in the head describes exactly what I was at that time."
He said when he heard on the radio that a woman had been shot he "did his damnedest" to ignore his part in the murder. He agreed with Mr MacEntee that he had continued to carry on making profits from drug-dealing even after the murder.
Bowden said he had tried to get his conditions improved in prison and had said he had got assurances from the Department of Justice that he could have a television in his cell and two educational sessions a week, and that requests for temporary release would be looked on favourably. He denied that any arrangement had been made about his future following his release from prison and denied that his future depended on his performance in court.
Asked about his reaction to news of the murder, Bowden replied: "I was devastated. I was just sick because I had played a major part in the shooting of that woman. "I told Julie [his wife] some weeks before that [the named gang leader] was going to get something done about Veronica Guerin and the politicals would have something to do with it to convince her that [the named gang leader] had republican connections." The trial continues today.