The recent apology by the Christian Brothers for their past wrong-doings has brought into focus the whole issue of punishment. It is evident from the huge response to the helpline that feelings are strong and widely held.
There are many people who have been badly damaged by the brutality they received while attending Christian Brothers' establishments - one hopes the apology can help them come to terms with such abuse of their innocent youth. There are others who will claim that "it never did me any harm". But for many who make such a claim, it is impossible to assess the extent of the harm caused by such misguided attempts at discipline. Indeed, some people believe the prohibition of corporal punishment has had a detrimental effect on classroom and home discipline. "They can do what they want now," they lament about today's school-going population. However, the effectiveness of corporal punishment requires further examination. By definition, effective punishment reduces the likelihood of a behaviour happening again. What I can never understand is why the same people were subjected to corporal punishment time after time. They were learning nothing from this form of discipline, and yet it was always the punishment of choice. In reality, it was not serving its function as a punishment: the problem behaviour persisted. Indeed, the use of corporal punishment was more a reflection of poor teaching ability than undisciplined pupils. Most people can also recall the excellent teachers who were able to create a stimulating learning environment without ever resorting to beatings. It is probably no coincidence that schools today are much more dynamic centres of learning than we ever experienced.
Regardless of where one stands on the use of corporal punishment, it is now against the law. And one senses that schools are happier places as a result. However, parents say they are feeling very vulnerable in the current climate of passivism. Indeed, numerous parents have expressed concern at their child's threat to "report you to Childline". If you are one of those parents, you are not alone. There are thousands like you. It is unlikely that a child who is really being abused by a parent will threaten such an action - for fear of further abuse. And with the level of sophistication of most of today's children on the rise, Childline can represent another avenue for over-indulged children to get at guilt-ridden parents. So what are parents and teachers to do? On the one hand they are advised to no longer use corporal punishment, while at the same time they have to walk a tightrope: any action they take may be interpreted by the child as abuse - with ensuing allegations being made. It is as if the pendulum has swung too far the other way. There is no doubt that corporal punishment is not an effective method of managing behaviour - this is not my view but the view of the hundreds of parents I meet in the course of my work. We psychologists can trot out the research findings about how corporal punishment models aggression, causes emotional trauma for the recipient, does not teach the child anything etc. But there is a much simpler argument: it does not work.
There are numerous alternatives which require just a small amount of planning. I have to constantly remind parents that items such as the television, the computer, the bicycle and rollerblades should be considered as rewards for co-operative behaviour; most children view them as their God-given rights. By treating them as rewards and setting out the rules by which they can be assessed, these items can be withdrawn in the event that the child is not being co-operative or not following the rules. The underlying principle for parents is that the child does what you want first, before gaining access to the desired object or activity. This is essentially the principle of give and take. The important part is that the ground rules are set out clearly at the outset and followed consistently. It may take some time for them to adjust to a system of earning privileges. But such as approach is essential if children are to appreciate the importance of co-operation. Star charts or incentive schemes are very useful systems which can enhance a co-operative approach. As is the case when setting out ground rules, incentive schemes require some planning. This can be done with your child, who would probably enjoy being involved from the start. Most adults are already participating in one or other incentive already, be it Superclub points or Tiger tokens. Children are no different. They will enjoy being part of a well constructed incentive scheme, which are equally effective in the home and the classroom.
Some criticise this approach as being too mechanical or mercenary. Children will expect something every time they do something well, according to the critics. They argue the child should be co-operative because it is the right thing to do. They aspire to the higher moral values as the reason for behaving in a helpful way.
If parents have a preference for this approach, grand. However, it is my firm belief that if you teach a child to work first and then enjoy the benefits of that work, the child will be well equipped to take on the challenges that life will present through the years. There are not too many children who see the intrinsic aspects of why they behave in a certain way. Indeed, if your child does a thing because it is morally right, he or she will probably end up as a priest or a nun - or even a Christian Brother.
