If your young daughter is overweight, keep your mouth shut. That's the advice from researchers at Pennsylvania State University who studied 197 fiveyear-old girls, 25 per cent of whom were overweight and 10 per cent obese. They also interviewed the girls' parents.

They found that being overweight in itself had no negative effect on girls' self-esteem. Problems started only when parents became concerned and made the child's weight and eating an issue. Parents who were most concerned about their daughters' weight (whether their daughters were overweight or not) also perceived their daughters as being less intelligent and less physically able. Parents who restricted their children's access to food also damaged their daughters' self-esteem and bodily image.

If a child is overweight, the whole family should become more active and restructure their eating environment, the researchers advised. Parents should take regular exercise with their children and keep plenty of healthy foods on hand so that their daughters have a wide choice.

A child does not have to be overweight to get negative messages from parents around food. My own nine-year-old is convinced she's "fat", even though she's skinny as a rail. While I try never to discuss eating and weight issues around her, I can't help the fact that comparisons of body size seem to be a topic of conversation among some of her peers.

All you can do as a parent is reinforce a healthy body image with positive messages and stay away from the f-word: never say "don't eat too many biscuits, you'll get fat".