Amber O'Sullivanbegan an arts degree in UCD last year. While she had no particular quarrel with the university or the course, she decided not to continue with her degree. She does not want to place blame but to ask why so many people think 'dropping out' of college is something to be ashamed of

I refuse to be oppressed or belittled because I chose to be peaceful in mind and assured in my future. I am a 19-year-old female and I have just withdrawn from college. I consider myself intellectual in both social and academic aspects in life, and have completed both Junior and Leaving Certificate and succeeded very well in both. I failed just two of six modules I undertook in my first semester of college, which is not uncommon.

I am proud of my achievements. I attended college initially as I was brainwashed into believing that it was expected of everyone who succeeds in their Leaving Cert. I know I am very capable of getting a degree if I want to, but that's no reason to inflict further discomfort upon myself by doing an irrelevant course, discomfort which has the ability to damage one psychologically. There is far too much pressure in my opinion on young people nowadays to know where they will be in 10 years, insisting that without a degree one will never succeed in life.

The three-year degree drained more life from me each minute of each day. The thought of my future made me cringe. Although I completed only the first semester, I felt like I was stuck in a rut. I wasn't sleeping more than two hours a night, and even though I was awake for college, the thought of being there made me want to hide. It was difficult to sleep, arduous to find energy and I found it impossible to have fun as all students should.

It was my parents who caught me before I hit rock bottom. They sat me down and assured me that my happiness was more important than their reputation and my own. I have every intention of returning to college as soon as I am confident with the course I choose to undertake. After coming clean with myself and my parents my insomnia eased off, and I generally felt a huge weight was lifted. I have a positive outlook on life now and know that I am responsible for my own happiness, and that I cannot let the opinions of others influence or discourage me. I now realise that it is so important to be honest with oneself - something I had overlooked as I was so distracted by the panic of being denounced due to my choice.

I am disgusted by the stigma surrounding those who do not go straight to college after school or those who made the mistake of thinking college was right for them and cannot complete something that did not make them happy, and therefore "drop out". My parents have been very supportive of my choice to leave, however I find that many people are not so understanding. I have found that many are inclined to stick their noses up at the idea. Many students will witness the ridicule applied in casual conversation about "drop-outs". The word itself is embarrassing.

The pressure really can begin in sixth year. With the rush for CAO applications young people tend to get their toes stepped on by parents, guardians, peers and teachers. During this time it is hard to hear one's own voice amid the chatter. It seems unfair to me to expect everyone to decide what they want to do for the rest of their life before they even get a taste of it. Each individual differs and is destined for great things, but their talents are being suppressed when they are not doing what they enjoy. Society is creating unhappy, unmotivated students and in turn the workforce and economy of our country will suffer. Life is too short to get held back due to ignorant criticisms.

The more aware I have become of this problem, the more aware I have become of the vast amount of young people suffering. I was not alone, but I felt completely alone.

I fear for those who do not have the support my parents gave me. My concern is for the students who have left home to succeed in college and have been forced into a course incompatible with themselves. I cannot express in words the psychological torture they must endure.

Parents of these suffering individuals do not witness the turmoil their children often withstand, and their children are too apprehensive to disenchant the people who have given life to them that they dare not confess. They do not wish their parents to have offspring defined as "failures", nor is it favorable to be perceived in such a way.

A common fear of adolescents, which follows them into college, is the fear that they will disappoint the ones they love.

Assigning your child of 18 or 19 to a dead end job which leaves them unmotivated, without hope and severely depressed would never occur to most loving parents and guardians.

To do something one is not passionate about is difficult. To feel pressured to do something one is not passionate about is unbearable. No zealous parent would support such pain being inflicted on their child. Doing the wrong course in college feels exactly like being placed in a dead end job (for which you won't be paid) leading to a dead-end job and a miserable future. And being branded a drop-out for finding the courage to escape such misery is, in my opinion, ungrounded.

With so many organisations and opportunities available to this generation, why is one forced to settle for rushed decisions that may determine the remainder of your life and prosperity?

I have witnessed this pressure resulting in a downward spiral into depression, something that is highly common in students and something which they are quite vulnerable to. I am in my prime, in my opinion, but anyone's enthusiasm and drive can be easily trampled by the pressure being applied upon them at such a young age to predict their future.

Upon my departure from college I have discovered that I am a young, vibrant person with the potential to shape my future. It is my life and it is my responsibility.

My intention is not to place blame but to ask the question: why are there so many people who associate those who discontinue or "drop" out of college with something shameful?

Amber plans to do a secretarial diploma, and then travel to Australia for a year