If the doll that feminism forgot is on your family's wish list, by now you can probably sing the ad for "Workin' Out, Workin' Out Barbie". That one is preferable to the ad for another Barbie product, when our heroine, on an outing with her mates, starts to miss Ken and rushes to be at his side with a nice burger she's cooked for him. Photograph: Frank Miller

Sell the idea of the Santa surprise. That's what Angela Canavan of Barnardo's recommends as the key to fighting pester power. Children want the heavily TV-advertised, brand-label toys - they want to show them off, and children as young as six know the difference between a fashionable and an unfashionable toy. What to do? Be balanced, Canavan says. One year, Santa might bring the most-craved toy - another year, he might not. Negotiate, explain that Santa has only so many toys to go around. "You don't want to give a negative message all the time - but you can sell the `really nice surprise' idea, and I do believe that children can accept not getting what they asked for a lot more than parents imagine."

It's sensible, she says, to make giving-in to crazes a rare event. Apart from anything else, it helps children to learn to stand up to the pressure of getting what everyone else is getting. (Toyshop man Jason Tuthill, who agrees that toys are now a fashion industry, says that left alone in a room with a branded and non-branded toy, kids are just as likely to play with the non-branded item.) If you expect them to stand up to peer pressure in their teens - against drugs, for example - it's best to start now teaching them how to do so.

Another thing to promote is sibling sharing: avoid from the beginning the trap of buying one of each thing for close-in-age children. This year, two Barneys, a few years on, two Playstations . . .u150 each, not to be recommended Initiate the "family present" early on.

Remember to buy a toy that's suitable for the age and stage of development of your child - if it's too advanced, it will just frustrate them - and try to ensure they have a mix of toys to meet their play needs. These, Canavan explains, are for imaginary play (dolls/teddies/dress-up); active play (bikes/balls/skates); art play (paints, paper, blackboards); and solitary play (computers etc).

Get The Guide To Choosing Toys by sending a stamped (32p) self-addressed A5 envelope to Barnardo's, 4 Christchurch Square, Dublin 8.