Renting out your home for the inauguration is Washington's favourite new pastime
I WASN'T too surprised when my friend Patrick told me over a tiny morsel at Georgetown's sustainable fish restaurant that he was renting out his apartment for the inauguration.
Patrick's mortgage had been killing him even before he met a new girlfriend who, he claimed, had expensive tastes. It was hard to imagine how her tastes could be more expensive than his own, but since he was paying for my meagre scrap of sturgeon (caught by American Indians off Washington state, according to the waiter) I said nothing.
At the next table, which was close enough to play a game of footsie, two business types were exchanging gleeful stories about their friends who had been burnt by Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme in New York. They stopped abruptly, however, when Patrick said he was planning to charge $500 a night for his one-bedroom place in downtown Washington.
"Are you crazy?" one of them said. "You should be looking for $5,000. At least."
Inauguration greed is Washington's favourite new pastime and with up to 4 million people expected to crowd into the city to watch Barack Obama being sworn in on January 20th, it's a game almost anyone can play.
At a party the other week, I ran into a wealthy acquaintance who had, according to one of Washington's most notorious gossips, just lost $16 million on the stock market. I assumed he still had many more millions left to lose so I was taken aback when he asked if I knew anyone who wanted to take his house for the inauguration weekend.
When I asked him how much he was looking for, he said $30,000, adding that it was "only 5.3 miles from the White House". I told him he was wasting his time, pointing out that you can't charge rip-off prices to people you know - you have to find complete strangers.
That's the problem. Everyone wants to make money but nobody feels comfortable about a crowd of strangers running around their house, especially when Washington's bars are staying open all night from the Friday before the inauguration until the Wednesday morning afterwards.
Still, with almost every hotel within a 100-mile radius booked out, private housing is the only option available to many out-of-towners, and as the recession starts to bite, many Washingtonians are discovering that their avarice is stronger than their anxiety.
Browsing a host of new websites offering inauguration accommodation, it's clear that Patrick's place is a bargain, although the going rate is closer to $1,000 than $5,000 a night. There are still a few budget options available, including this offer, which was posted on Craigslist: "Announcing DC's 1st and only Drunken Hostel. We give you a place to crash and a place to party. ALL YOU CAN DRINK. crap loads of fun people. A DJ. leftover Obama campaign stickers. tiki torches. jello shots. You give us 200$. we have a large 3 bedroom house with a nice backyard. 2 guys and 1 girl . . . Go to the inauguration, then come back for our party . . . we cant guarantee a bed, but we have couches and carpeted floors. bring a sleeping bag, and be ready to party Obama-style."
Tickets for most of the inaugural balls cost anything from $300 to $2,000 but for just $5 you can whoop it up at The People's Inaugural Ball at the Rock and Roll Hotel. "The RRH is one of the few places in town not charging an arm and a leg and a squirrel foetus to eat crab cake and cheap cheddar with the mildly famous," organisers boast.
Still hungry but a couple of hundred dollars poorer after our sustainable fish dinner, Patrick suggested we share a taxi home. He didn't want to say it in front of the businessmen but he was feeling guilty about his inauguration rental because his lodgers were an elderly African-American couple travelling from South Carolina.
The taxi driver was talking on the phone about Warren Buffett disinheriting his niece. As I paid, he flashed his biggest salesman's smile: "Hey guys, you know anyone looking for a place for the inauguration?"
