The best thing to do is cry

READER RESPONSE: Reaction to last week’s Mind Moves and My Health Experience

READER RESPONSE:Reaction to last week's Mind Moves and My Health Experience

Re: We are all diminished by the veto on emotions, (Mind Moves), Healthplus, April 7th

Dear Sir,

Some years ago when we lost our eldest son at age 21, I discovered that my first reaction was, exactly as indicated in your article by Terry Lynch, to assist my wife to STOP crying whenever she started.

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It took a while, but I gradually learned that the best thing was to let her cry and to simply be there for her.

Then, I could hand her the gentlemanly handkerchief.

This was great, as she really needed to cry and, indeed, she occasionally still does, even years later. One never stops loving one’s children.

That said, it is still difficult not to go to her and put an arm round and say “there, there” . . . In other words, “please stop crying”.

It also takes time for a man to realise the benefit of crying for himself and, for me, to stop being embarrassed when I did cry.

People used to apologise to me for “making me cry”, but I knew it was healthy.

As one friend put it: “The number of your tears is a measure of your love for your son.”

Doesn’t make it any easier, though!

Yours, etc

Robert Jordan,

Terenure Road West,

Dublin 6W.

Re: My Health Experience, Healthplus, April 7th

Dear Sir,

Last Tuesday, in the My Health Experience section you featured fibromylagia.

This prompted me to write of my own experience namely Sjogren’s syndrome. I have most of the same symptoms as fibromyalgia.

Sjogren’s syndrome is an autoimmune disease where the body’s immune system starts attacking parts of the body instead of fighting infection.

Although little is known about it here, it is well recognised in the UK and in the US. I have obtained all my information about the condition from the UK’s SS helpline.

These are just a few of the symptoms I suffer from:

- My teeth are badly affected.

- Dry eyes.

- Dry mouth.

- Difficulty in swallowing.

- Sore throat, headaches and dry cough.

- Joint pains and muscle aches.

- Low mood, irritability and impaired concentration.

- Disabling and extreme fatigue.

I also have Raynaud’s syndrome and rheumatoid arthritis

The lungs, bowels, bladder, liver and kidney can also be affected by this disease.

Most of these symptoms can be treated provided you are lucky enough to get the right diagnosis and treatment as soon as possible.

I am trying to set up a support group for other sufferers like myself, so if anyone is interested, please contact me at toni.harrison1@gmail.com.

Yours, etc

Toni Harrison


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