Dáil Sketch / Frank McNally: The extent of Dublin's crime problem was dramatically highlighted when Enda Kenny arrived late for Leaders' Questions.
Apologising to the Taoiseach, he explained: "I was being held up in the corridor outside by a Fianna Fáil member."
The corridors of Leinster House are notoriously dangerous for the unwary, right enough. The risk of hold-ups is high in an area densely populated by Government backbenchers, many of them with time on their hands and no proper outlet for their energies. In the darker corridors back-stabbings and character assassinations are almost daily occurrences.
But the Fine Gael leader appeared unshaken by his ordeal, and when he broached the subject of rising crime rates in the capital, it was three other areas - Blanchardstown, Tallaght and Coolock - he had in mind.
As leader of the traditional law-and-order party, Enda would like more gardaí on the streets of the city. If he could put a few more Fine Gael TDs there in the process (much of Dublin is a no-go area for the party) it would be a bonus.
So, accusing the absent Minister for Justice of mere "bombast, words, waffle and gung-ho", Mr Kenny claimed that the reality of the Government's performance in the capital was rising crime rates and falling detection levels.
"Headline offences" were up 23 per cent since 2000, and serious assaults had almost trebled. The three named suburbs were worst affected, but "in 17 of the 18 Dublin districts headline offences are up and detection rates down".
Never one to back off from an exchange of figures, Bertie Ahern came out swinging with his own crime rates - for the country at large. Before you could say "hold me back" he was quoting numbers for murder and manslaughter ("down 13 per cent"), sexual assault ("down 28 per cent"), burglary ("down 14 per cent"), theft from the person ("down 14 per cent") and so on.
"I don't want to get into the statistics," he added, with unintended humour.
By the time he was finished, Enda must have felt he'd been mugged again.
The Dáil's investigating Sargent (Trevor, of the Greens) raised crime of a different sort: illegal dumping on private land.
Only Pat Rabbitte avoided the theme, focusing on tax-avoidance schemes. Unfortunately, his contribution again landed him in trouble with the law - which in the Dáil is the Ceann Comhairle.
Dr Rory O'Hanlon may be powerless to prevent hold-ups in the corridors but hold-ups in the chamber are a different matter, and he clearly sees the Labour leader as a recidivist offender.
He would like to see Mr Rabbitte do time: specifically the three-minute maximum allotted to him under Question Time rules. Instead, Mr Rabbitte talked for 5½ minutes yesterday, ignoring all interruptions.
When Dr O'Hanlon reprimanded him, the Labour leader muttered sourly: "I'll do community service."