"Snakes alive!" said the Connacht Tribune. If you're travelling through Cappaghmore, Kinvara and south towards Corofin, be on the look-out for the "slow worm", which might have been the first "snake" to appear on this island since St Patrick banished the reptiles 1,566 years ago.
The creature is actually not a snake at all, but a "legless lizard" thought to have been introduced to this island 30 years ago. St Patrick can rest easy, then.
Ennis Urban District Council has been arguing over the appointment of a PR consultant.
Some local councillors behave like "petulant schoolchildren" and "their attitude and antics over recent years can only have helped to turn people away from the concept of community representation", said the Clare Champion.
"The dearth of top-quality candidates seeking election to the urban council, the appalling level of debate in the chamber and the near-hysterical reaction to criticism of any kind are all symptoms of a malaise that is poisoning the body politic at its very foundation.
"Many of the outstanding achievements for which councillors have scrambled to claim credit have happened in spite of them. The town has grown up around them and most of this growth has been fuelled by private enterprise and by the vision of a small number of public officials without any real input from the elected representatives."
Ward-closures, waiting lists and other perceived deficiencies in the health service provoked angry comment in the Mayo News, the Connacht Tribune, the Roscommon Champion, the Tullamore Tribune and the Westmeath Examiner.
The latter cited farming and health as the critical issues. "While the Irish economy is booming, for some it is going to be a difficult and painful winter. There are parts of the country where the market has collapsed for pigs and sheep (and) there are people in health waiting lists who will die before their number is called."
Commenting on the planned closure of beds at University College Hospital Galway, the Connacht Tribune said: "The concept of a health service which - when it comes to the point where it is at the limit of its budgeted figures - simply says `well, that's it . . . we can't take any more patients this year', boggles the mind!
"You have to pinch yourself to make sure that it is not some line from Alice in Wonderland, it is such a contradiction of the thin king that should be the basis for running health services."
Single people haven't a hope of getting off corporation waiting lists because families always get priority for houses, said the Drogheda Independent. Alderman Frank Godfrey's suggestion that the council should build houses specifically for single people got a "lukewarm reaction" from councillors.
Mr Michael Bell TD even called the suggestion "ludicrous", but Councillor Ray Dempsey countered that health boards and voluntary agencies were spending £2 million each week on private-sector rentals for 43,000 singles nationally. The same money would buy 20,000 houses.
Build more houses please, but drop the "fancy British names". That was the message from Waterford County Council to developers last week, said the Munster Express.
Mr Austin Flynn, Fianna Fail councillor from Dungarvan, said that among the "ridiculous" examples of names meant to sound "upmarket" was a new development in the quay area called "Harbour Bay", which made no sense because the two words meant the same thing.
"It's trendy to tie the knot in the west", said the Western People. City-living couples and their guests are flying in from all over the world because the country wedding is now "in". The reason isn't entirely romantic. Country hotels are less expensive and give better service, claimed a local hotelier.
The bride and groom, however, should be wary of the pints, or so thinks one western politician. An alcohol advertisement claiming that a drink is "pure and virginal white" is "nothing short of a scandal" and should be banned, says Mr Johnny Mee, a Labour Party member of Mayo VEC.
The Connacht Telegraph gave extensive coverage to Mr Mee's outraged comment that a promotion for Smithwicks which depicts a newly-wed couple taking a break from their wedding ceremony to enjoy a quiet pint was "immoral and mischievous".
Mr Pat Barry, director of corporate affairs at Guinness, told the newspaper that "there was no symbolism attached to the advertisement, as Mr Mee suggested".