They won't see the light of day until the final figures are totted up in September, but do the lovely folk at the other end of the competition help-line complain? Yes, a lot, but no one else at Golf Masters' HQ listens. Just as well, then, they have you managers to talk to.

So, if you have any queries about the competition, phone 01-2844060. Or e-mail your cries for help to golf@phonovation.ie.

Top ten helpline questions

1 Can we start the competition again?

2 If I wait until the last week and then use all my transfers to bring the top seven earners in to my team would I win the competition?

3 (i) What's the exact date Lee Westwood's wife is due to have her baby? (ii) Isn't it true the first one is usually born early?

4 (i) Could you tell me what Paul Broadhurst and Mark Roe do for a living these days? (ii) Is there any chance I could get a refund on the money I spent on them?

5 Does Notah Begay have a good lawyer?

6 I'm not sure whether to get rid of David Carter - how long, do you think, would brain surgery keep you out of action?

7 (i) Can I cancel the transfers I made last week, when I got rid of the two lads who won at the weekend? (ii) If not, can I have a polo shirt please?

8 I've used all my transfers and there are still 26 weeks to go - did I err?

9 I cheered when Phil Mickelson drove his ball in to the lake on the 12th because it meant he couldn't catch Ernie Els who I have in my team. Does this make me a bad person?

10 (i) Could I have a pepperoni pizza with extra anchovies please? (ii) How long will it take to deliver?

Answers: 1 No. 2 In your dreams. 3 (i) The first day of the US Masters, unfortunately, and (ii) so they say. 4 (i) God knows and (ii) no. 5 Hope so, for his sake. 6 We're not even going to answer that. 7 (i) No, (ii) Go on then. 8 How do we say this? Yes. 9 No, it just proves you're a Golf Masters manager. 10 (i) We're right out of anchovies - would sardines do? (ii) Depends on the traffic.