I was taught to avoid the ‘trap’ of cooking but I take pleasure in domestic life
I long for ways of thinking and writing and cooking that admit in the most serious and simple way, food is love
I had my kids in my mid-20s, which was unheard of among women of my class and generation
I’m making friends who are much younger and much older than me, because many women of my age are still ferociously juggling work and childcare and not free for coffee or a film
Men are deemed more masculine for taking up more space, women more feminine for taking up less
Binary categories hurt everyone, especially those whose natures or physiques are non-compliant
Only mothers who find recognition in professional life seem to be guilty of ‘having it all’
Society considers mums suspected of working by choice to be playing a zero-sum game where career ambition comes at the cost of motherly love
Some say you’re not a writer if you’re not willing to sacrifice your family to your art. Not me
Sarah Moss: Writers have the same responsibilities to family, friends and community as everyone else
Being English in Ireland, I often sense I’m being too frank
An English person in Ireland speaks with eight centuries of history gesticulating over her shoulder
I’m a university professor but I’ve never been greatly invested in my own kids’ grades
It’s hard to see how training students to concentrate on their own fear of inadequacy and desire to beat their neighbour is likely to open paths out of the death spiral of climate change and capitalism.
It was only after moving to Ireland from England that I had deep conversations about emigration
It was only after moving to Ireland that I had deep conversations about emigration with Irish friends who’d moved to England
As a teenage girl in the 1990s there was a level of harassment that I hope is unthinkable now
I’m a parent, tolerating worry is in the job description, and so is the gradual handover of physical safety from parent to child
My friend’s effortless joyful incompetence sets an example that’s difficult to match
It’s an interesting challenge to start something without the aim of mastering it
I’m not against HRT but are we once again medicating women for being angry?
It is horribly regressive to say that all women lose their minds in midlife. Did you know that men have hormones too?
Friends said that I’d ‘let’ my hair go grey. That’s not what happened
It’s interesting to think about the difference between ‘letting go’ and ‘letting yourself go’
Changing your mind is more interesting and more useful than changing your body
Fennel, yellow and yoga: Liking food or colours or activities I once disliked reminds me that preferences aren’t fixed
I do the same thing and expect different results, but thinking reality remains the same is sheer fantasy
Time continues to pass, the world of next time is not the same as the world of last time for anything we do
If you’ve read the literary canon, you know how to think like a bourgeois white man
Part of the work of art is to allow us glimpse worlds we don’t inhabit, or see worlds we inhabit through others’ eyes