As thousands of people across the country take part in various events to mark Safer Internet Day, it might be easy to miss the obvious solution: safer internet usage starts at home.
But a new survey from children’s charity CyberSafeKids found that more than half of parents struggle with teaching their children about online safety. Chief concerns for parents include online grooming, cyberbullying, accessing pornography, content relating to self-harming, and social media addiction.
Almost a quarter of six-year-olds have their own smartphone, the survey said, with close to half of 10-year-olds allowed to use their smartphone in their bedroom. Some 80 per cent of respondents said internet access for their 11-year-old children is never or only sometimes supervised. So what can parents do to help keep their children safer online?
1. Talk to your child
To borrow a phrase from an old ad campaign, it’s good to talk. That goes double for your children and their online activity.
There are plenty of dangers that children should be aware of before they start exploring the internet or using online services. People may not be who they claim, you could unwittingly hand over personal details that end up being used for identity theft or a financial scam. Bullying is a real problem.
According to CyberSafeKids, more than a fifth of parents of children aged five to 17 said their child had been excluded from a group chat or online event, while 18 per cent said their child had been called offensive names.
Talking about these issues with your child is important, but in a way that gives them the information they need to stay safe without scaring them unnecessarily.
That means talking openly about the risks and the different dangers they may face, making sure they know how to conduct themselves online and that it can have real-world repercussions for them in the future, both good and bad.
And equally importantly, listen when they are talking to you. The best thing you can do as a parent is keep the lines of communication open between you and your children. Make it clear that they can come to you if they see something online that makes them uncomfortable or if something has happened that they are unsure how to deal with.
2. Agree the rules
Set out the do’s and don’ts from the start. Everyone will have a different list but it usually includes not giving away personal information to strangers, even if they claim to be a friend, not sharing photographs and never telling anyone your address.
But you have to be a bit flexible as your child gets older. What seems reasonable for a 10-year-old playing Roblox online is suffocating for a teenager. Ultimately, the rules have to adapt as your child grows up, giving them the room to grow and decide for themselves what is acceptable and what is not.
3. Make use of parental controls
There are few parents who would be happy allowing their younger children to go free range on the internet. But according to CyberSafeKids, only 28 per cent of parents use parental controls on their child’s device.
It’s not just about shielding from the worst the internet has to offer; there are screen time limits that should be considered, in-app purchases to control and so on.
For children of a certain age, keeping a close eye on their online activity is needed, but as they grow up, the devices on which you once had a tight grip will need to be used for school work too. That is where parental controls can come in handy. You can use the software to filter out objectionable content, control the amount of time spent on certain apps and services while allowing access for homework and project research. You can also impose “downtime”, when the devices can no longer connect to the home wifi network, to facilitate studying, mealtimes or sleep.
That is where parental controls can come in handy. You can use the software to filter out objectionable content, control the amount of time spent on certain apps and services while allowing access for homework and project research. You can also impose “downtime”, when the devices can no longer connect to the home wifi network, to facilitate studying, mealtimes or sleep.
You don’t have to take out subscriptions or buy expensive apps to get started. Free tools are available on most of the platforms your child uses regularly that will help monitor activity online.
On iOS, you will find it under Screen Time. Here you can set limits for categories of apps or choose each app individually. The Communication Safety tool will detect nude photos and videos before they are sent or viewed on your child’s device, blurring photos that are received and triggering a warning to the child, steering them to helpful resources. It is all done on the device, so no data passes to Apple.
For Google users, the Family Link app (available for iOS too) will help you monitor time spent online on Android devices, and impose rules for accessing content and apps.
4. Do your research
If your children are using apps and online, you should learn about them too rather than leaving them to feel their way to it. Not only will it alert you to potential safety issues – for example if a game allows random people to message your child by default – but it will also help you to deal with any scare stories that do the rounds on social media.
That also goes for the new generation of AI tools that are springing up. With deep fakes and AI-generated content becoming more and more common, we will all have to be more aware of the potential for our eyes to deceive us.
5. Lead by example
There is little point in trying to instil sensible rules for your child to follow if your own behaviour online leaves a lot to be desired. If you can’t see it, you can’t be it. Follow your own rules and your child may follow suit.
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