It is, unfortunately, a familiar story. Sean Moncrieff (Newstalk, weekdays) hears of a benign religious tradition whose meaning and message have become so twisted that it leaves a trail of death and destruction. Welcome to the lethal environment that is Christmas at home.
This is no joke. In the US, at least, accidents caused by tatty and defective seasonal decorations are a “serious issue”, according to “industrial hygienist” Monona Rossol, causing 30 deaths since 1995. Beyond that, candles start 30 house fires a day over the holiday period, while the tree in the corner is, in fact, “a pile of kindling on a stick”. And that’s before you get to electrocution from fairy lights, respiratory problems caused by artificial snow, and poisonous mistletoe.
Despite the grim statistics, in Moncrieff’s hands the item becomes an astringent but enjoyable subversion of the holiday season’s occasionally overwhelming jollity. This is all the more unexpected as the interview is essentially a health-and-safety officer running through the regulations. “I have to thank you, because this morning I pulled up the international building code,” says Rossol, “and there’s a whole section on decorative vegetation in existing and new buildings.” Phew.
But Rossol proves a droll presence. She recounts her litany of peril in a gently laconic tone, as when she explains why she heeds her own advice by not having a tree: “I guess we’re really a bunch of heretics.” For a sacrilegious killjoy, she is a lot of fun, particularly when her wryly curious host is egging her on.
Moncrieff can only transform so much base material into radio gold, however, as underlined by the segment that follows. “Next up, should women get time off to menstruate?”
The problem with what follows isn’t its bluntly summarised subject matter. The proposal of the Harley Street consultant Prof Gedis Grudzinskas that women who suffer debilitating period pain should be entitled to leave is, after all, about “making the workplace more sensitive”, an aspiration that surely all but the most recidivist of robber barons share.
But an uncomfortably awkward atmosphere prevails as these two men discuss what is, by definition, something they cannot know about. “What happens when women have a period?” Moncrieff asks, as though it were some exotic ailment rather than a fact of life for half the population. “It’s a very unsettling time,” responds his guest, using women’s descriptions of pain and inconvenience for reference. Much humming and hawing ensues as the pair try to come up with a male equivalent, before Grudzinskas hits on it: “I’ve heard people say it might be like a colossal hangover.”
For all the progressive intent of the proposal, the male perspective has a patronising feel, however unwittingingly. “The mere fact that it’s their right [if women could take menstrual leave] would make them feel better about it,” says Grudzinskas, his use of the third-person plural only adding to the unintentional air of benign paternalism. That the host sounds less assured than usual suggests he is uneasy with the way things are going. Given his show is a high-wire act in its juggling of incongruous and often unpromising items, it’s inevitable that Moncrieff gets caught off balance sometimes, but it’s a misjudged sequence.
A similar question of balance arises on Breakfast (Newstalk, weekdays). Hosting their weekly panel on political issues, the show's anchors, Ivan Yates and Chris Donoghue, turn their attention to the statement by Minister for Health Leo Varadkar that the constitutional amendment outlawing abortion is too restrictive, and ask Minister of State Aodhán Ó Ríordáin if the Government intends to act.
“First of all, it strikes me as a bit strange that there’s five blokes in a studio here talking about a women’s issue,” says Ó Ríordáin, adding that the presenters might consider “a bit of gender balance” on future panels. It’s clearly not the answer the hosts expect. Donoghue, in particular, sounds incensed, saying that two female guests had cancelled and calling Ó Ríordáin’s assertion “not fair”, “totally offside” and “snide”. The Minister, who has special responsibility for equality, responds that “it’s a reasonable point”.
That Donoghue should be so outraged at a minor criticism of his show may be understandable, but it’s slightly disconcerting in the light of his calm demeanour when covering the real scandals and horrors of the average Irish news day. That aside, the kerfuffle almost distracts from the Minister’s answer that the Government is effectively going to do nothing on the matter. Almost, but not quite.
When Yates takes a typically forthright line on Varadkar’s statement, characterising it as “no big deal”, the journalist Shaun Connolly disagrees. “I think it’s a big deal to the 4,000 women who are forced out to make the lonely journey to clinics in Birmingham and Liverpool every year because they don’t have the right to choice in this country,” says Connolly firmly, bringing an otherwise missing perspective to the table.
Sometimes it’s enough just to show a bit of sympathy and understanding.
Moment of the week: An edited life of Brian?
On Today With Sean O'Rourke (RTÉ Radio 1, weekdays) a panel of journalists discuss the year's best sports books. When The Test, Brian O'Driscoll's autobiography, comes up, it causes mild discomfiture for one guest, Paul Kimmage, who quit as O'Driscoll's ghostwriter after a row over a "silly little interview" the latter gave to this newspaper. With typical candour, Kimmage admits that he has only skimmed the finished book, as he had previously transcribed 600,000 words of interviews with the rugby star. "The bits that were left out were very interesting," Kimmage says. "Probably a bit more interesting than some of the bits that were left in." Ouch.
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