Colette O’Shea gradually began to notice her husband Kieran was unwell. He had started to hoard things. Piles of kindling wood in the shed and bits of broken computer parts from the shop where he worked were scattered around their Co Limerick home.
It came to a head in July 2021 when they went to buy their daughter’s birthday cake and there was no money in the bank account. After checking their statements, it emerged €14,000 had been spent on scam websites. Kieran did not remember spending it.
After consulting with specialists, Kieran (47) was diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia, which had slowly caused changes in his behaviour, and then motor neuron disease. Earlier this year, doctors said he would have no more than two years to live.
Colette, who looks after Kieran and their three young children – Luke (11), Haydn (10) and Caoimhe (8) – was named the 2022 Netwatch Family Carer of the Year at an awards ceremony in Dublin on Thursday.
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Stoic and upbeat she said the surprise award felt like a dream after coming to terms with the health of her husband whom she had been with since they were teenagers.
“I have known him kind of like forever. We have been together for 27 years,” she said but described how the man she knew so well was slowly drifting away.
[ Life as a carer: ‘If we really love somebody, we can do anything for them’Opens in new window ]
“I am just driven by [knowing] the kids only have me ... I used to plan for the future before; I don’t do that any more. I have learned to embrace every day.”
The children’s school Lisnagry NS in Limerick has started a GoFundMe page to raise money for the family as Kieran’s condition deteriorates.
Collete was the overall winner in an annual awards presentation that aims to recognise the sacrifice and commitment of the more than 500,000 family carers across the country who provide crucial home support to loved ones with additional needs.
Four other carers were honoured at Thursday’s awards. Hugh Hilliard (17) from Clara, Co Offaly was named Leinster Young Carer of the Year for looking after his sister Ellen following the death of their mother in 2020. Ellen has autism and requires significant support.
The Munster award went to Cara Darmody (12) from Clonmel, Co Tipperary who helps care for her two brothers Neil (9) and John (5), both of whom are severely autistic. Cara sat the Junior Cert maths exam in June to raise money for children with special needs and got 97 per cent. She plans to sit the Leaving Certificate maths exam next year.
In Connacht, Sarah Ann Buday (13) from Tuam, Co Galway was honoured for helping her 15-month-old sister Esther who has Down syndrome and a heart defect.
[ Life as a carer: ‘You are always on high alert’Opens in new window ]
The Ulster Young Carer of the Year award when to Andrew McEleney (13) from Clonmany, Co Donegal. He helps to look after his brother Jack who is non-verbal, suffers seizures and has an intellectual disability. Last year Andrew saved Jack’s life by contacting the emergency services and administrating medication.
