Ps & Qs

Modern Manners. This week: bridal behaviour

Whether you’ve been planning the ceremony since you could walk, or since he proposed last week, the prospect of a wedding can flick the scary switch in even the most relaxed brides. But remember, you get a day – not a year. Half of your friends are probably getting married too and attending a wedding is pricey (as you know from complaining about everyone else’s). Try to keep the preparations low-key for the bridal party. You may have dreamed about a hen in Monte Carlo but save the luxury getaway for your honeymoon.

Be patient with your parents, especially if they are donating to the wedding fund. Yes, things have changed since 1874 or whenever they got married but your mother is only trying to help. Her blood pressure is already through the roof.

That half-dazed smile is her reminiscing about the last tantrum you threw – about 20 years ago – and wondering whether your father can still lift you up under his arm and lock you in your room. She and the bridesmaids really wish he could.

Manners Illustration Getty Images
Manners Illustration Getty Images

From now on it’s more “we” and less “me”, so get into practise before the wedding. While most guys will bend to your crazy whims (it’s easier that way), the wedding is a collaborative effort. You may not want his five-a-side team replacing Aunty Vee and Uncle Albert on the list but he has a say too. Don’t make him regret buying the ring. – Rachel Murphy