Tom Doorleyreviews Ellen's Cafe, Monkstown
How times change. When we moved to Monkstown from deepest Dublin 4 almost 20 years ago, when you didn't need to be a lawyer or a merchant banker to live in such places, people used to say: "Isn't that very far out of town?"
Nostalgia may be interfering, but I seem to remember a Monkstown in which superannuated hippies, artists, poets and general eccentrics lived in rambling flats and where there were scattered outbreaks of old money behind the stucco facades.
By the time we emigrated to Munster, it had been invaded by sharp-suited solicitors and their shiny cars. We used to say of our new neighbours: "Oh, the so-and-sos won't be here for long. They're in transition to Killiney." Now, it seems, the socially aspirational are staying. Monkstown is awash with money, Aston Martins parked on double-yellow lines and Bentleys on what used to be lawns. Our mud-encrusted jeep lowers the tone when we visit our Dublin flat there.
Anyway, as somebody said to me recently: "There are lots of rich people in Monkstown these days, but they didn't get that way by spending lots of dosh." We were discussing the newish shop on Monkstown Crescent where you can buy an (admittedly very comfortable) armchair for a shade under €4,000 or, if the humour takes you, a tin of Italian bath salts for €59.95.
Seagreen is clearly a shop for rich people, but not for the vulgar rich. It's for people with loads of loot but a modicum of good taste - innate, acquired or, possibly, provided by consultants. It has, among other things, lovely furniture, a wacky selection of books (many of which I'd quite like to own) and, according to my daughter, really cool jeans. It's a fun place to browse, and I say this as a middle-aged man who frequently wears wellies and only has the vaguest aspiration to own a Paul Smith suit.
As Monkstown is still, in a sense, my backyard, I'm delighted with the cafe at Seagreen, as it does some of the best coffee in Dublin. Other than that, the grub is a mixed affair. We started lunch with a delicious and hearty Mexican bean soup, sharply tomatoey and nicely textured, with coarsely ground chilli beans and sweetcorn kernels. As soup goes, this was the real deal.
Quiche, on the other hand, was awful: a bland, under-seasoned affair involving onions and pine nuts. And, unforgivably, it was soggy. This sad wedge of stodge was served with pasta salad and, bizarrely, broccoli salad (which was not nearly as bad as it sounds and looked).
A salad of herb and walnut salami turned out to be a salad of hazelnut salami and just about every salad ingredient you can think of - and some that don't immediately spring to mind. Let's list them: iceberg and oakleaf lettuce, cashews, green olives, grapes, pumpkin seeds, diced cucumber, semi-dried tomatoes, almonds, cherry tomatoes, some sad coriander and little bits of strawberry.
I could have done without strawberries, which are as out of place in salad as they are out of season at present, but this was a good salad: substantial, well-dressed and full of flavour and texture. The idea of cutting the salami into little triangles worked well, as it could easily be tossed through the other elements.
We will draw a veil over the chocolate hazelnut tart, which we were not charged for and which we failed to finish; suffice it to say that this was not the peak of the confectioner's art.
With first-rate coffee, lots of mineral water and one glass of white wine, the bill came to €42.65.
• Ellen's Tea Room, Seagreen, 11a-12a Monkstown Crescent, Monkstown, Co Dublin, 01-2020130
Wine Choice
This is a short list with some surprisingly original choices. Alpha Zeta Garganega (€19.50/€5.25 per glass) is dry but honeyed, while Domaine Félines Jourdan Picpoul de Pinet is razor sharp and almost alarmingly refreshing. Domaine des Lauriers (€24/€6.25) is a good, chunky Minervois with a lot of Syrah character but oaky, ripe Rivola Abadia Retuerta (€28) is a better buy at these prices. Omrah Pinot Noir (€26.50) is ripe, easy, Australian and great value while Mitolo Jester Shiraz (€35) is rich, intense and getting fashionable. I don't know the Prosecco for €33 nor the Champagne Marc Demets for €69, so I'd be inclined to stick to the former if I were in need of fizz.