How can one little baby need so much “stuff”? It’s a question countless parents ask when they’re tripping over things in the house or trying to lug some out the door.
“Need” is, of course, subjective. But, thanks to nesting instincts, coupled with parental pride – and paranoia – first-time parents and their money are soon parted.
An average of €5,648 is spent on a baby in Ireland in the first year, according to new research, while one in 10 babies costs parents between €10,000 and €15,000 during those first 12 months. Some 4 per cent of babies had more than €15,000 lavished on them, while the same percentage had less than €1,000 spent on them.
The survey, conducted by the makers of Bepanthen nappy care ointment to launch its “First Moments of Motherhood” campaign, asked more than 1,300 mothers what they forked out to cover all the baby’s expenses in the first year.
While the top of the scale sounds extreme, when you consider that may include private maternity care and that a full-time creche can cost anything between €610 and €1,050 a month for a baby, depending on where you live and the place you choose, it’s unlikely that the expenditure was all on fitting out a grandiose nursery and designer baby clothes. However, the chances are there was still a lot of paraphernalia in there.
With a first baby it’s hard to know what’s going to be useful and what’s not. The best advice is to buy the minimum before the birth because – tempting fate aside – not only will you have a better idea of what you need as you go along, you will get gifts.
“I found that there is absolutely nothing necessary for those first few mental weeks other than sleepsuits, Moses basket, feeding equipment (or body parts), car seat and pram,” says Janette O’Hehir, mother of 13-month-old Luke. “After about eight weeks or so the chair/bouncer became vital – we went for longevity with an infant-to-toddler vibrating chair, which he still loves to relax in after a busy day in creche.”
Mother-of-one Emma Blain recalls being in a baby shop in Dublin and seeing a man – whose partner, she reckons, was still in hospital or just home – come in and present an assistant with a great long list of items.
“I just wanted to say ‘No, no, no’,” she says with a laugh. When she had her son, Hunter, 15 months ago, she had the benefit of hand-me-downs from her sisters. She did buy a “high-end” buggy costing more than €1,000, on their recommendation, but the two best “borrows” were a Jumperoo – “I could make the dinner and he absolutely loved it” – and a vibrating bouncer.
Self-confessed “worrier” first time around, Emma Halpin got great peace of mind using an Angelcare sensor pad and video monitor (models range from €100 to €350) for her son Ed, who is now two; she is more relaxed with eight-month-old Sadie. But the bottle steriliser she bought was never used because she breastfed, and she just uses boiling water to prepare occasional bottles for expressed milk.
These are just three mothers among a range consulted by The Irish Times about essentials for the baby's first year, what you can do without and those in-between items that some swear by and others don't miss. Here is a guide to some good and bad buys:
THE ESSENTIALS
Car seat
Unless you’re walking home from the maternity hospital (or have a home birth), this is the first big essential purchase: you need a rear-facing one for a newborn.
"Go to a retailer who knows what they're talking about," stresses the communications manager of the Road Safety Authority (RSA), Brian Farrell. The RSA estimates that four out of five seats, for all ages, are either incompatible with the car they are being used in, or are installed incorrectly.
Shop staff should not only advise on what sort of seat is suitable for your vehicle, but show you how to fit it and how to strap a baby in. “The key message is, don’t fit a rearward-facing child car seat in the front passenger seat if there is an airbag, as that is potentially lethal,” he says. The RSA doesn’t recommend disabling the airbag as you may forget to reactivate it.
Most cars made in the past 10 years have IsoFix fittings, and seats for these are easy to put in, are less likely to be fitted incorrectly and perform better in safety tests. However, they are more expensive and tend to be heavier.
The two most popular seats to take an infant home from hospital are, according to Paul Kealy, managing director of Tony Kealy's baby shops, the BeSafe Izi Go (€169) and the Maxi Cosi Cabrio (€135). Both fit on to most prams so can be used to create a travel system. See rsa.ie for advice videos.
Milk dispensers
Nature’s built-in ones are free and save a lot of faffing about but, if using formula and bottles, you can probably trust yourself to operate a kettle and microwave safely, rather than going for fancy warming and sterilisation gadgets.
Simple clothes
Ease of dressing and access for nappy changes are the priorities. Since clothes are a popular gift, buy few in advance and, unless your baby is premature, he or she will grow out of the newborn ones nearly before you’re home from hospital.
Buttons are a “no go”; always look for snappers or Velcro, says Halpin, and avoid jumpers that have to go over the head.
“Babgros rather than endless cute outfits, for days when you just couldn’t be bothered; and there will be a lot of those days,” points out Dawn Vaderaa, a mother of four in Cork.
Cot
A standard cot will be used for at least two years but a newborn can look very small in one (although swaddling helps), nor is it portable around the house, which is why cosier, more flexible options in the short term may be preferable.
However, because babies grow out of a Moses basket so quickly, some parents say don’t bother (a travel system carrycot is seen as a better alternative), while others, such as AnneMarie, a mother-of-three in Cork, used two. “Newborns sleep a lot of the day and having one downstairs and upstairs meant I didn’t have to drag the basket upstairs and downstairs every morning and night,” she says.
A longer-lasting co-sleeper, attached to the parents’ bed, is becoming more popular – it enables co-sleeping without the risks attached to sharing a bed. “I found it useful because, whether bottle or breastfeeding baby, when he woke up I just had to reach across and pick him up,” says Vaderaa. “Also being right next to me made it very handy to stroke him if he was getting restless, or to give him his soother.”
Pram
The buying of “wheels” is likely to be your biggest outlay on equipment. Don’t let brand obsession deflect you from practicalities. “When parents are purchasing a travel system, we always recommend that they purchase a product that suits their lifestyle,” says Kealy. Will it be used mostly for outdoor walking or mainly in shopping centres? He also recommends that parents push the pram out on the street and check that it fits in their car boot before they buy.
Over the past three months the most popular one-child prams at the four Tony Kealy stores and online have been the OutNAbout Single Nipper (€359), Joie Chrome and Gemm car seat (€525), SilverCross Wayfarer (€699), Uppababy Vista (€979) and the Bugaboo Cameleon (€999).
Helen McDonald, mother of one-year-old Hugh, got a Bugaboo Chameleon. “Having a buggy that has a bassinet is great because you can keep it in the sitting room or, if you travel or visit, baby can sleep in it.
“Also our car seat fits on to the buggy too, so when out and about you don’t have to transfer the baby from car seat to buggy.”
Sling/carrier
This is a must-have for many, and converted parents can’t help thinking that those who never use one are missing out.
The great variety of styles can be perplexing so your first step should be to look at Babywearing Ireland's website (babywearingireland.ie), where there are details of sling meets around the country. It also operates a sling library to allow you to try out several for a couple of weeks, to see which best suits you and your baby, before buying one.
“A godsend” is how Jane Madden, a mother-of-two from Clontarf in Dublin, describes her sling. “In the early days I was unsure whether I was using it correctly so I enlisted the help of a baby-wearing consultant and that was the best thing I ever did.”
Bathing aid
You don’t need a separate baby bath but “babies are slippery little buggers” as McDonald puts it, so a sponge support, ring or seat to use in a bath is helpful – but never leave them unattended. Kealy says when it comes to baths, more than half of its sales are now tummy tubs.
Activity centre
Playmats (three to six months) and stand-in activity centres (six to 12 months), along with bouncers and jumperoos, are hardly necessities but most mothers highly recommend one or more. They keep the baby happy and give parents hands-free time.
THE THINGS THAT HAVE THEIR USES, BUT . . .
Monitor
Some sort of listening device is probably, in fact, an essential because it may seem positively negligent not to have one.
However, babies are pretty good at making themselves heard in the average-sized house. What’s more, the amplified sound on a monitor can cause parents to rush to pick a baby up when they’re not really awake and would have settled themselves given time.
O’Hehir says the peace of mind she gets from a video monitor is “invaluable”. And while her son is now 13 months, “I still use it, even though he’s only in the next room. I love to be able to see him when I wake during the night.”
Blain says her monitor was a waste of money in the first six months because it broke and their son was sleeping beside them anyway.
Changing table
“I’ve always just changed baby wherever was handy on a changing mat,” says Vaderaa. Changing tables gather clutter, you have to trek into whatever room they are in to change and they also take up space, she adds. Annemarie takes the opposite view and recommends a nappy-changing unit to keep everything together. “I didn’t have it on my first and there was stuff everywhere.”
The manufacturers of one costing nearly €500 says it can be adapted for storage or a desk afterwards but would it not be better to see what existing piece of furniture could be used?
With an estimated 5,500 children (aged up to four years) visiting hospital emergency departments in the EU every year with injuries from accidents involving changing tables, the European Child Safety Alliance advises that changing a baby on the floor is a safer alternative. That’s logical but perhaps unwise for a mother after a C-section or whose back was banjaxed by pregnancy.
Conventional highchair
If space is at a premium, a portable feeding chair may be better than a conventional highchair. Vaderaa uses a Chicco Pocket Snack Booster Seat (recommended from six months to three years) with her youngest child, who is now 17months, and says it is sturdy when placed on a dining-room chair and a good option for parents on a budget.
“I have used high chairs in the past and they are just too bulky and I found, as babies get older, they enjoy sitting at the table with the rest of the family to eat as opposed to being out in the cold away from everyone else in the high chair.”
Toys
Small babies get far too many. “I have a house full of toys from well-meaning gifters but 50 per cent are probably still in unopened boxes,” says O’Hehir.
With a house full of toys for her four children, Vaderaa still believes babies are more interested in what the parent uses, be it a remote control, a phone or pots. “I think they gravitate towards these items because it’s part of their learning process. Of course toys are good to have too but, for a parent fretting about cost, they really do not need to go OTT on toys as household items are just as interesting. Just remove batteries, etc.”
Changing bag
“A backpack or oversized handbag will do the job just as well,” suggests Madden.
“Changing bags are ridiculously unwieldy for going to the shops or someone’s house when you always have your handbag as well,” says Ann, a mother-of-three in west Dublin.
She uses a Jonathan Adler Skip Hop Pronto Changing Station that folds up to the size of a large clutch bag, stows nappies and wipes “and anything else I just carry in my handbag”. But other women don’t want the standard contents of a changing bag anywhere near their handbag.
THE DO-WITHOUTS . . .
Sit-in baby walker
The European Child Safety Alliance warns against sit-in baby walkers on castors due to the high risk of injury. What makes them particularly dangerous is the increased mobility and speed they give the child, as well as greater height and reach. Accidents aside, there’s research to suggest that they hinder rather than help a baby’s development.
Baby-food processors
We’re all in favour of pureed fresh food for weaning but your standard food processor or liquidiser will do just fine, as will an even handier and cheaper hand-held blender.
Designer clothes
Don’t even think about such foolishness. Annemarie received expensive designer baby clothes as gifts but says that they were “normally vomited on within an hour and grown out of in three weeks”.
Cot sets
All soft bedding and pillow-like items – quilts, comforters, bumper pads, sheepskin blankets, etc – must be removed from the cot when the baby is in it, as they may cause suffocation, so there’s little point in buying them in the first place.
Bumper pads cause additional dangers not only due to suffocation risks, but they also could be used to climb on once the baby is crawling, increasing the risk of the baby falling from the cot, warns the European Child Safety Alliance.
Pee Pee Teepees
I would have thought these were a joke, if I hadn't seen that they are available in "100 per cent organic cotton" at more than €20 for five on Amazon. Suffice to say, if the sprinkle gets in your eye – or, more likely, his own – at changing time, a well-positioned wipe or towel will stop it happening again.
Save money: think second hand
A lot of equipment, clothes and toys are very lightly used because babies whizz through the different stages, so second- hand items can be as good as new – at a fraction of the cost.
Organised parent-to-parent sales, such as Arís Ireland (aris-ireland.com) in the Dublin/Wicklow area; The Baby Market Ireland in Cork, Limerick and Tralee (babymarket.ie); and Bubbly Baby Market in Galway (087 6597617) are well worth checking out, whether you need stuff or want to clear some out. All have events this month in various venues.
The Baby Market priced a shopping basket of 11 brand items at €1,540 when bought new and the same items sold at their markets at just €493 for the lot – a saving of more than €1,000.
swayman@irishtimes.com
